This is what depression feels like

Yesterday, I slept almost all of the day, I woke up at 10:00 because I had to, and went back to sleep at 11:00 until about 1:35 and then back to sleep until 3.  I only woke up because I had to go out last night, but I wanted to sleep the rest of the day away.  I went out last night and felt like a hermit in my shell, until my drink came. I went out but wanted to be home every minute. I woke up early today to cook, and found some calm in that, knowing that it was good for me, but even on this celebratory weekend, I found myself disconnected, all of my feelings on mute.. all of my emotions away. far away. numbness has become my friend.

My depression becomes something that I stifles my energy, and so being on, takes everything out of me, and I just want to be alone.. any buzz of my phone feels like dread, because I dont want to deal with whats on the other end.   I want to be a good partner, and a good friend, but Im trying to be good to me. Ive isolated myself for the past few months, and that's all I want to continue to do but I know it wont make me feel better. but at least it wont make me feel worse.

I sit looking for solace, but I can't find it within myself.  Its all muted, stifled. numb.

3 comments:

Alaamah eg1 said...

شركة تنظيف بالجبيل
شركة تنظيف بالخبر
شركة تنظيف بالاحساء
شركة تنظيف في الدمام

Aaron Baker said...

I heard that csgo4skin this site is about to launch a new raffle, as well as the chance pumped AWP | Dragon Lore (FN), AK-47 | Redline (FN), M4A4 | Asiimov (FN) ★ StatTrak? Bowie Knife | Fade ( FN) and other awards, we can together look forward to the arrival of this activity.

carlota decau said...

Je suis une personne qui offre des prêts à faibles taux d'intérêt pour les particuliers, les petites entreprises, investissements personnels etc ...Sont les prêts locaux et internationaux à des personnes partout dans le monde. Contactez - moi aujourd'hui et je voudrais savoir le montant d'argent que vous voulez . Je suis prête à vous accordez ce prêt dans un maximum délaie de 48 heures ou de 72 heures de la réception de la demande. Contactez - moi pour des informations sur mes conditions de prêt. E-mail: sophiacarlot2@gmail.com

Post a Comment