Snapshot..

My class, 3:00pm January 14, 2008.

Me: Tomorrow is Martin Luther King's Birthday.

Student 1: No!!! It's next Monday that's why we ain't got school!!!!

Me: No, tomorrow is his actual birthday. Monday is when we observe it.

All: NOOOOOOO UH UHHHHHHH
(they dont need to learn because they "know" everything..whatever. Then i realize, I probably shouldn't have said "observe".. that's what confused them).

Student 2 has his hand up.

Me: Yes

Student 2: Teacher, if I do something good, like if i'm great like Martin Luther King, can I have my own holiday...

Me: Possibly, but there have been alot of great people, and very few of them have holidays. Well national holidays. Lets see if we can name them. Can someone tell me one?

Student 1: JESUS!!!!!

Me: LOL yes.. anyone else

Student 3: Abraham Lincoln

Me: Yes, any others.

Student 4: George Washington

Me: Anyone else.. we have Abraham Lincoln and George Washington.

Student 5 Hollers: YOU FORGOT THE CARVER!!!
(my eyes roll so far into my head.. and ignore the comment.)

Me: Can anyone think of any other Americans who we celebrate with national holidays?

S2: OOH! Ooh!: LABOR DAY!

(Ugh)
Me: No

S2: well someone is born on Labor Day!

Me: you are right. someone is born everyday.. that doesn't make it their holiday.

Me: Okay.. let me help you all out. .what about Columbus Day? Who is that in celebration of?

All: Christopher Columbus!

S7: Who is that??

Student 8 (adamantly): DUH!! HE FOUNDED COLUMBUS, OHIO!

I pause, then it registered.. I turn to my co-teacher and repeat the student says while hysterically laughing.. I get up and leave the room. My ignorance quotient has officially been reached... Or so I thought..

When I return, students are still discussing the merits of Mr. Christopher Columbus.
I take my seat once again.

Me: someone tell us what Christopher Columbus did... Student 9..

Student 9: He discovered America.. well he didn't discover it cause it was people already here, but you know he was the first one over here...

Me (happy that SOMEONE has a clue): Exactly!!

Student 5(looks at me with such sincerity): Is he dead?

Me: No, but I wish I was.

The End.

Epilogue: I teach 7th grade.