Relaxer my ass

I would like to knock out the person who named it a relaxer. I have never been relaxed when I had a relaxer being applied to my head. It has never felt like a good massage, or a nice hot shower. Never like a good work out at the gym or a good night of, uhh definitely not like that. It starts unassuming enough, a little cold on your scalp, making you think ahh this won't be too bad. I think I've spent the last week or so patting instead of scratching. Soon, I'll be rinsing it out. But noo then you feel a tingling sensation at the nape of your neck, and you try to ignore it. refocus your energies or the latest issue of Essence or Black Hair Sophisticates. Okay half the head is done, I'll be okay. Then the tingle grows like the plague, suddenly you can't tell which part of your head is tingling and which part isn't.
You start to think, I sure wish she would stop runnign her mouth and do this damn perm quicker. Your stylist asks, how you doing? uhh its burning a little. But what does it matter, I surely have tio go through with it. I cant just get half my head done, and look like a fool. So you grimace and keep it moving. Try to strike up a conversation, and by the time she is done with the application, you feel like your head is being treated with acid! Hydrochloric acid. This must be the worst pain known to man. And she aint even done, she still has to work it through one more time to tame all the new growth.

By the time my head hits the bowl I wonder, what the hell is worng with me. I should go natural, clearly this cant be worth it. My natural hair would like wonderful.. I could rock it curly or straight. Bump this, this is the last time i'm getting a perm...


until 6-8 weeks from now.