From Introspection to Exorcism

It is not very often that I get on here and talk about real life, beyond bullshit observations and funny rants.. but for some reason I feel the need to just lay it on the line right now. Dangerous to do this? probably. I'm not sure who reads this.. and I'm not trying to hurt any feelings, or front publicly on anyone. And if you feel I am doing that to you, my bad.. but don't say shit to me cause for real... I'll pretend like a care, but know that for real for real, I don't.

One of my favorite teachers was Ms. Leddy. She was so wonderful to me. In my five year old mind, I wondered why she didn't wear pants, and dreamed about having a mother, or growing up into a woman with a voice as soft as angelic as hers. She didn't even yell when Colin Gleason fell asleep in class one day. He slept so hard the entire side of his face was red and he had a crease on his cheek from the folder. She also had a sign on her desk told us to always follow the Golden Rule.. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

I had heard the Golden Rule before kindergarten of course, but not growing up the Christian church, it had no basis besides being the guiding rule of the classroom. Treat others like you want to be treated. It seemed pretty solid. Don't take someone else's pencil without asking, cause you don't want anyone to do that to you. Say thank you, because you want other people to say it to you. Be helpful, because you want others to help you. It worked in our classroom... and as I grow up, I realize it is a guiding rule in my life.

The Golden Rule is important in actions of course. As I go through the day, I open doors for people and say please and thank you even when talking to my underlings. I don't argue or curse (at people), or yell or fuss. I try to be the person who I would like to meet. And this has been good for me. My kindness has meant people are kind to me. My friendliness (shut up) has made me some acquaintances and some friends. I have developed a good reputation at home, at work and in life.

The Golden Rule has also become the mandate of my relationships.
And to that end I am fortunate. I have so many friends in my life who follow this rule. Who give of themselves freely, and who simply ask for the same in return. I love that I can call on them and they will call on me. I love that I can be there for them and know that it is not in vain. That no energy or time spent is wasted. The Golden Rule is also called the Ethic of Reciprocity... and to my 27 year old self reciprocity is a non negotiable.

it is not for me to criticize or castigate folks who don't feel the same way. It is not for me to shame or bad mouth anyone who lives by a different creed. The only recourse I have is to choose to accept their differing standard... or not. And I choose not. I choose not to be surrounded by anyone who will only have me around in times of convenience. I will not be the go to, when times are rough, and when times are good.... poof. I am choosing to dedicate my energy to those people who reciprocate efforts and energy. I am choosing to use my energy to build relationships with new people who feel the same way. And so that means there will be casualties, though there is nothing casual about it. There is mourning and grief. There is heartache and pain, but the choice is to lose them or me. and I will not lose me. I cannot.

So cheers to you, my nearest and dearest. Here is to nights well spent, and priceless conversation. Inside jokes and returned favors. I love you. I really do.