I feel like a terrible person.. but I have to get this out.

The economy sucks and because of this I've taken my hits monetarily... but I am blessed.  I have enough to make ends meet and not have to worry that much.. but I can't do all the things I wanna do and save as much as I want to save and do all of that good stuff..

Sooooo when I am at the grocery store behind people with WIC or foodstamps..
When I hear on the radio about programs where people can get a cellphone for free...
When I hear about programs where people can get low cost computers and internet...

It sends me to a dark place.. a dark place that i am not proud of.. that I am trying to stop myself from going to... it makes me feel like a damn republican.  and I dont like that at all...  But the libraries aren't open on Sunday, I haven;t gotten a cost of living increase in YEARS... I have furlough days.. meanwhile rent is going up, gas is going up.. food goes up...  I could use a foodstamp.  but I am grateful that these foodstamps are there for the children because it is criminal for them to go hungry...

convoluted yes.. but my emotions and my thoughts about all of this are all over the place... i'm getting them to the right side... i promise.