It's Over Now.

When I was little, I used to cry when fun days were over. After going to Six Flags Great America, I could be found in my bed crying.. thinking that I would never have as fun a day again. When i look back I think.. I was a crazy kid... but I cant be mad at my kid self. I mean kids are pure and true... But we all have times that we dont want to end.. dinners with friends, vacations... and maybe we dont go to tears about it, but it's accepting that something is over. That's why people cry at graduations and weddings... change is tough. Okay that's it. Goodnight to all the folks who read this blog. LOL the 1 or 1,000,000 of you. LOL

I know my homie LA is reading though! :-D what up nig!!! Should I be using the word nig? Nigga? Nigger? sometimes I feel bad about that too. Like, I am an educated black woman. I know why people used to say Nigger and why they say it now in any derivative. I cant make a good distinction between nigger and nig and nigga.. nigra... it's all the same kinda racist stuff reappropriated...is that reappropriation okay?? Or am I adding to the ignorance in the world? Okay shut up.. I know I add to ignorance in more ways than just saying racial epithets.. but should i say nigger and bitch in playful, familiar ways when they are words used to degrade my people? It seems wrong.. I mean like Rosa Parks.. Rest her soul..If I saw her on the street would i say.. What up Nigga? no..I mean that's a bad example cause who would say that.. I dont call my aunt nig.. that's just a matter or respect.. but is it disrepectful when I say that to my friends???? the rules are crazy...

But let me just make this clear.. My contemplation about using Nigger is in no way connected to white folks or other races of people beside Black folks saying they can use it cause we do... That is inappropriate bottom line.. I feel like there are some clubs you belong to and some that you don't. Like me and my brother can call my mom any name in the book amongst ourselves.. I mean not any name... but ya know... but other folks regardless of what they think bet not EVER come out there mouth with some diss about my mom.... Soooo I say this all in the spirit of contemplation... not sure what the answer is... understanding that i will say Nig for the time being.. but I might not say it for the rest of my life... I got the right to change my mind!! :-D

Night!