New Years Eve

Today is New Years Eve.. I am currently battling allergies, respiratory infection and such... but enjoying the day helping my mom is da bomb :-)  I am just in love with my mommy dearest and wit the year I have had... I had some downs.. but I've had so many more ups that I can't even be m ad.. i dont even have any resolutions to make..  except for this one..


1. I'm doing everything that's fun! 

Everything..  if it's fun.. I;m on it.  I am enjoying each day and travelling and not worrying about the dumbness that comes with alot of things in life.  I am not sweating the small stuff.. or wondering what it is i need to do... to make this or that happen. I'm just going to live my life... and I'm going to do it for me.. not in the hopes of anything or anyone else... Just for me :-) cause that's the way I roll :-)  I love you.  I truly do.

expect the unexpected and be open to it. :-)

Have you ever had...

the Michael Jackson Experience...

If not.. you must try it.. my arms are sore, thighs are tight... but I promise you... have it for a night and you'll keep going back. ..


mmmmhmmmm

I did it.

I lit a fire in my fireplace and I am slowly crossing off all of the things I am doing before I turn 30. Going to a vineyard on Saturday... and gonna knock some other stuff down in the new year.  

I am so glad that my life has taken this turn. :-)   It wasn't what I thought I wanted.. but it has forced me to become more me. .:-)    It has forced me to do things that I didn't think I could do.  I am happy. I have my want in me.  Just happiness and love.   a love for life and for each moment and each opportunity as it presents itself.  :-)   I love my life.. it is amazing.

Crazy Courtiers

So, I've been reading historical fiction lately, which I knew was a gamble because I love love love history and when you start writing about it with a fictional twist, I'm thinking damn I need to google all of this shit so I can see whats true and what's not... so I do alot of googling, but I've caught the vapors with The Other Boleyn Girl and The Constant Princess by Philippa Gregory.  I am all into the scandal of the court.  I mean when I think about the fact that all your life is lived in a palace and so you are trying to angle your way into the best marriage with the best person, and you can't move and meet some new folks and if the king says so.. it is.. DAYUM. I dont know if I could handle that....

Also. Anne Boleyn was a bitch... I feel like that Kanye verse in Deuces goes straight to her!!  She was trippin.. so overwhelmed with power and shit.. that she was a BITCH!!! 

I mean seduce a king.. become queen and end up with your head in a basket.. hot damn.. I feel bad for the chic.. but she kinda got what she deserved.  oops.

boredom is a bitch

1. Last beverage: rum and coke

2. Last phone call: ericka

3. Last text message: eric

4. Last song you listened to: Falling to Pieces by Script

5. Last time you cried: in bed two weeks ago

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone twice: yes

7. Been cheated on: yes

8. Kissed someone & regretted it: No.

9. Lost someone special: Yup

10. Been depressed: indeed

11. Been drunk and threw up: Yes.

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. Purple

13. Blue

14. coral

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made a new friend: Yes

16. Fallen out of love: Yes

17. Laughed until you cried: Indeed

18. Met someone who changed you: all time time.. bringing out the best.

19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes

20. Found out someone was talking about you: uhhh, except this isnt 9th grade and i dont give a damn.

21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: Yes. a few of them ;-)

22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life? 98%

23. How many kids do you want? 2

24. Do you have any pets? nopers, but almost bought a hamster the other day

25. Do you want to change your name? only if it's to hers.

26. What did you do for your last birthday? HS reunion

27. What time did you wake up today? 6:35am

28. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: our date

30. Last time you saw your Mother: last weekend

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: my arm flab.

32. How many times have you made cookies? more than I can count

33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? Yes.

34. Who is getting on your nerves now? everyone under 21

35. Most visited webpage: Gmail

36. Whats your real name: If you are reading this you should know.

37. Nicknames: Babe, Karma, Kam, and other stuff.

38. Relationship Status: Single

39. Zodiac sign: Lusty Leo

40. Male or female?: Female

41. Primary School?: was awesome

42. Secondary School?: was awesome

43. High school/college? finished both.

44. Hair color: brown

45. Tall or short: medium

46. Height: 5'4

47. Do you have a crush on someone?: indeed

48: What do you wanna do right now? number 47

49. Piercings: yup

50: Tattoos: 1

51. Righty or lefty: right

FIRSTS:

52. First surgery: Wisdom teeth

53. First piercing: Ears... don't remember how old.

54. First best friend online: my same bff offline

55. First sport you joined: gymnastics

56. First vacation: Baltimore, MD

57?

58. First pair of trainers: training wheels... never had em... training bra.. never had one either.

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating: Nothing.

60. Drinking: Nothing.

61. I'm about to: check my phone

62. Listening to: Colbert Report

63. Waiting for: nothing

64. Want kids?: yup

65. Get married?: one day

66. Career: indeed

67. Lips or eyes: can I look in your eyes as I'm kissing your lips?

68. Hugs or kisses: Hug me while I kiss you please

69. Shorter or taller: shorter

70. Older or Younger: older

71. Romantic or spontaneous: romantically spontaneous

72. Nice stomach or nice arms: both

73. Sensitive or loud: huh?

74. Hook-up or relationship: Relationship

(where's 75?)

76. Kissed a stranger: yup

77. Drank hard liquor: yup

78. Lost glasses/contacts: Nope.

79. Paid for the first date: yes. for her...

80. Broken someone's heart: yup

81. Broken someone's hip? Nope

82. Been arrested: nope

83. Turned someone down: Yes

84. Cried when someone died: Yes

85. Fallen for a friend: Yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: sometimes

87. ghosts? not sure

88. Love at first sight: not for me..

89. Heaven: is right here on earth

90. Santa Claus: is in your heart

91. Kiss on the first date: i hope so

92. Angels and demons: No

93. Your Future?: yup

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: No

95. Did you sing today?: yup

96. Ever got cheated on?: yup

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: ummmmmmm Pyramid completion.. .

98. The moment you would choose to relive?: last night...

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: No

100. Are you afraid of posting this as 100 truths?: No

josephine baker haiku

fearless and topless
ripe banana fashioned skirt
blackness = confidence

Yo Yo Yo

So my minister left the church in September.. and church just hasn't been the same. So I haven't been going and I have totally completely missed having my weekly nourishment. I mean, I read and I journal and I pray everyday, but something about having a spiritual teacher give you a message once a week just makes a difference..

So without my weekly word.. I've found myself detached, off center, just messed up in the game... and I have found myself dwelling on the things that I don't like about my life.. both small and large... whether it be... the annoying fact that my fingernails are weak and brittle, or the check engine light on my car...or the different relationships that I am over critiquing to my personal demise... and that shit is stupid.

Focus on negative and what do you get? more negative..

so bump that.. let me tell you some of the awesomeness I got going..


1. my mommy is the best.

2. I got new perfume

3. I got new plants and they are beautifully odd

4. I got new chucks!

5. I get to spend 50 hours a week doing what I love to do with people who I truly truly do love.

6. I have friends and family who call me just to say I was thinking about you.

7. I have money. well enough to do what I need to do and some of what I want.

8. I got treated to free meals yesterday :-)) WOOT WOOT!

9. My friends trust me.

10. I wake up happy. And go to sleep happy.

11. She is the shit!! For real. :-)

12. Her legs... yes!!!!!!!!!!!

13. I went to spoken word and the poet actually said "I'm going to twix on your mounds" as a part of his sex poem and it was HILARIOUS. I bust up laughing.. hahahaha small moments kick ass.

Cooking

Okay, I don't love cooking, but I LOVE eating home cooking and it finally dawned on me that I can cook... I can make some good stuff.. with simple ingredients.. maybe it's a little overdone, maybe a little too hot, maybe cajun but HEY.. I love eating food that I made cuase I know exactly what's in it.. I know exactly what i'm eating and I know I am doing myself and my wallet a favor. .I cooked two new things this week. GO ME! :-)

Halloween- Shed the mask.

In African American Lit in High School we read this poem (ooo-oop Johnnie Noble)

We Wear the Mask

WE wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,—
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile,
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us, while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries
To thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!


Is there a mask that you need to break? Is there someone or something inside of you that you are hiding because you are afraid people will not see you if you take off your mask, or they won't like what they see? I'm letting you know you can take off the mask.. by being you you will attract people who will love you fully and completely. Showing who you really are will bring closer relationships to you with those who love you...


I thought about it and I dont think I can wear a mask anymore. I try my best to be exactly who I am in every instance.. Not that I say everything I want to say... or do everything I want to do, but I don't fake or pretend or act as if I feel a way I don't. I favor silence. I ask help when I need to and I love myself because of it. I used to be an impostor, content with people just seeing me for a wild girl who made folks laugh and made insane comments... and i'm still that... but I am also not afraid to say, I learn things all the time and I love jeopardy and trivia, mensa puzzles and museums... and I'll do that all day.. without shame. I like to read... and hate watching videos on the internet if I can help it. I like geeky stuff.. and thinking of new ideas.. even if they make no sense cause why not? I got a brain, I may as well use it. I'm super sensitive and very passionate and I wear my heart on my sleeve, and I love deeply and can't keep anything a secret when it comes to how I feel... I love hard.. .and some people have told me to cover it up and hold back... but that's just me and I don't want someone who likes the mask.. i want someone who likes me.. so I'm good with that... but I also understand nothing is perfect.. and who I am is a work in progress..

if there is anything you need to share to help shed your mask... i'm here.

Insanity....

is the fact that I almost checked my work e-mail... from vacation.

Home

It's amazing how the concept of home changes. I love Chicago and the city will always be home, but each time I visit it feels different. I guess it is a good sign that where I spend the majority of my time is becoming where I want to be.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVE being in Chicago. I love going down the streets where I grew up. Eating Harold's, getting some Fannie May, enjoying some chili con queso and maybe some stuffed pizza.. if I can swing downtown, I might even get some Garrett's.

No one place will conjure the fond memories of nostalgia than the skyline and the Sears Tower, and my HS and the lakefront. The old buildings on the South Side or the fun of crisscrossing through the Northside to have a good time. Lincoln Park Zoo and the Museum campus will always sing so sweetly to me, but having lived a few different places, I know that home is something that I must create.

Home is the feeling I get when I open my door to my apartment and realize that it is all mine. Home is where I smile sweetly as I hop into my car to drive to see the people I love. Home is so many different moments and emotions that fill my heart. Home is even my classroom, because it holds my future and the future of the country. I put my house keys in my classroom door AT LEAST 10 times a year LOL. That's devotion. But that's home. Home is where your heart flutters and your soul beats and when I think of home.. sometimes... I think home might just travel with me.

GLEE ME

I love Glee.. It's awesome... GLEE ME!!

I loved the duets. I love singing and dancing and the joy in it.. I love the idea that music can convey ideas and feelings that mere words can never impart. Born Again... River Deep, Mountain High, Happy Days are Here Again.. ahhh I need to see a musical now

With so much crappy music.. I think I enjoy the hour of good singers, in perfect pitch that make my hairs stand on end. :-) I love it.. I just love it.

I am lucky. I want to see Chicago next, or Damn Yankees, or anything with Bob Fosse involved, or Dreamgirls.. but not really.. or anything really. I just love music by real singers. with real pitch and real talent. Broadway voices will never compare to anything else...

:-)

I'm getting my Glee para tomorrow :-)

NO MORE DADT!!

Don't Ask Don't Tell was stopped by federal injunction today and so the US is no longer allowed to investigate, or prosecute or court marshall anyone because they are openly gay...

And it can only be broken if the US government goes for it.. and they wont.. i dont think.. I pray.

Thank you for mercy and grace and love and fairness and justice. :-)

I am more happy and proud than you know :-)

I am Liz Lemon

I am!!! I watch 30 Rock and I dont think there is anyone on TV that I feel has better expressed my quirky loveable weirdness than she! I love her wardrobe... I love the collared shirt with a sweater on top... ahhhh the glasses... I just heart Liz Lemon.... If I'm not as cool as she is... i want to be...

LIZ LEMON ROCKS

PRIDE

awesome that I enjoyed playing and having fun with my cousin and his friends during pride. I saw my homie down there for a second too. It was great.

It's wonderful because this is the first year that I can say that I am truly Proud.

I love being gay. I am not in the closet to anyone.. There is no one with whom I am close that does not know this about me and it's wonderful. It has enabled me to live my life openly and freely because try as I might to keep secrets, I am unable to. I work hard to live an open and honest existence because you know, there are only so may chances you get to make a difference.

Part of me wishes it was okay for my students to know I am gay because I feel like it would open worlds for those who are gay and those who are straight. Set a new example. I'm just a regular person. but I dont have ANY desire to be any different.

I am happy with who I am. I am delighted in the moments I get so spend with those who love me for who I am.

I started coming out to myself decades ago, but finally accepted it 7 years ago. Now, I am clear that I need to be who I am.

I'm a woman. I am black. I am a lesbian. I am so proud to be me.

Rainbow flags if I was into that whole thing.. but.. not so much.

:-) I love you.

:-)

Like a Crysanthemum
blooming in the spring
like the rain that falls
and brings the summer breeze.
That anticipated phone call which
puts my mind at ease
something like an appetizer
so delicious, but just a tease.
You leave me wanting more
waiting to explore the different
facets of what you are.
I woke up this morning, not feeling like P.Diddy.. but feeling like me. I turned to see if The Practice was on FX and it wasn't.. at some point I have to get the whole series through nexflix...

Got up, read The Happiness Project... thanks b... then made breakfast and coffee.. I love being able to make a homemade breakfast on the weekend.. It's so much better than the carb fest I have during the week... whether oatmeal or bagel.. it's just not the same as hot homemade breakfast.. mmm..

Now, I am blogging to you... being grateful that my life is what it is....

My coteacher's daughter is having a bday party today.. and I'm excited to go.. I found a family down here.. and it's wonderful. My coteacher takes care of me and has my back and it's wonderful.. it feels good.. to be apart of something that has no strings attached.. no pressure.. nothing but love...

I dont know that she knows how grateful I am but I think that she knows how much she means to me and how much I love that she includes me...

We couldn't be more different... but I think our hearts are the same.

Love is great no matter where you find it :-)

Good morning

Fear and Love cannot exist in the same place.
I choose love.

I already have everything that I know, so there is no worry that i will not receive something or that I will have to give something up.

I keep my mind centered on the here and now and I know that I must address every situation with love.

I must be loving and honest. The ability to Love shows that I have strength. Every decision must be made from a position of strength when it is made out of love.

Love is patient and love is kind. and the rest of that Psalm that is in everyone's kitchen. I think I might throw that into my vows. :-)

My favorite thing!!!

My favorite thing is when I am watching a movie and they say the title of the movie in the movie. It's awesome... It makes me smile every single time.. like lets make this super explicit to all the people why we named it this... haha I've seen so many.. but now I want to make a list ...

1. Whatever Works


Help me add to the list...

Eat. Pray. Love.

Or better yet, Sustenance.

Today, I went to see Eat Pray Love with two of my lovies and it was the best ever. It was an experience that made me really think about my life, about the lessons I need to learn, about devotion and about how well I am feeding myself in those three areas. It took me back into myself in a way the last month of craziness has distracted me from.

First, Julia Roberts is so cute. Second, as she wandered through those countries I wondered when the last time I put myself out of my comfort zone. When was the last time I stepped outside my box and found something new to enjoy... and I realize.. I do that alot. I allow myself to follow a whim and enjoy the moment. I feel the discomfort and then let it work for me.

I thought about how awesome my life is and how working on me has paid off. I think I still struggle with falling to hard and believing things that aren't real, but I have to understand that that's just me... .I h ave to forgive myself and I have to just be glad that my emotions are true and my heart is open.

I need to slow down and savor the small moments and cherish those things dear to me.. because I do think that life is in the small moments..

I felt so emotionally connected to the scenes and the messages and the moments that I must see it again. I need to own it.. I need to just enjoy each frame and each scene and smile and cry as I need to. And at the end know that just like Elizabeth Gilbert.. I'm ready to crossover :-)

Got me doing things I never do....

Single. I've tried it. I've liked it. I am enjoying it right now. I am still single and loving my life. But my eye has been caught. Something about her. Something about the way she moves and talks... her hair and her smile.. Something about how she busts my balls and then asks me for help. Something about her just makes me want to lay down the pimp card. Makes me wanna just retire the roster and devote that energy to special moments. To first dates and sweet surprises.. to making her smile. She is smart and good at what she does. She is independent and doesn't play games. She is honest and sweet. She knows what she wants and makes me feeeeeel great. She smells like heaven.. euphoria to be exact. But Im not willing to take it fast and jump in head first.. I dont want to spend the night or sleep with her. I just want to hang out.. I want to take her on a first date to somewhere fun that will make her smile.. I want to share little moments and show her my favorite spot in the world. I want to read books in bed and force her to watch my favorite shows.. I want to dance at the club and then kiss her goodnight.

to put it most simply... I'm sprung.

And I'm perfectly okay with that....

Quote of the Weekend:

Person 1: You know, I've always heard that fat girls give the best head?

Person 2:Hell yeah makes sense.. they fat cause they like to eat in the first place. Its just eating a d*ck..

smh!

I hit the G-Spot on the Ocoee River

Soooo on Saturday, my church sponsored a group to go White Water Rafting at the Ocoee River in Tennessee.. I signed up a while ago and honestly in the middle of planning for the school year I hadn't thought about the trip until Friday... In my infinite wisdom, I decide that going out on Friday night was an awesome idea... that and a hot chic was going, sooooo you know I was down... So I go out Friday night.. and have a GREAT time.. food for another post... and get home at 4:00am.

****SIDEBAR**** I didnt get to sleep until 4:30 because I made the bombass gourmet grilled cheese... Pumpernickle bread with onion and caraway with olive oil on the bread instead of butter, filled with colby jack and cheddar cheese and then oooh schnap.. that is not it... I also added some great no nitrate smoked pepper turkey meat... 4 mins on the George Foreman and I was in drunken sleep heaven.. YES!!!

So I set the alarm to 6:30 understanding this is going to be a beast of a wake up call... and the alarm goes off and I snooze to the very last moment... and as I'm putting my clothes on my homie buzzes from the gate (I am such a good friend that I am taking my homie to the train so she can get to the airport).. So I'm up and at 'em.. and SO tired

But you dont want to hear about the einsteins bagel I ate, or the Lexus truck I rode in.. or the 2 hr ride.. You wanna hear about the action..so HERE WE GO!!

Our guide's name was Lauren.. She was a cute as a button woman with perfect teeth and trendy sunglasses who seemed more like a city girl than a white water raft mountain girl... Not to mention the fact that she had on a skirt... Talk about gangsta... I'm white water rafting in this skirt.. you better ask somebody.. So needless to say Lauren was already impressive...

So we get our instructions take our places in the boat and launch ourselves into the beauty of the Ocoee... We drift into what they call Bush Gardens... which made me giggle because something about all the stroking, and wet, and harder talk just made it seem kinda.. umm... risque...

LOL So we are riding along and Lauren managed to steer us into every single bush, rock, tree, embankment on the river.. I asked her.. "Is that a hidden camera in your glasses because I swear you are trying to make us the blooper reel..." I was worried this whole thing was gonna be a bumpy ride...

But as Im rowing myself down with my crew and looking at the rocks and trees and the river I realize this is perfect...

Someone asked Lauren about herself and come to find out she does it all.. She can steer a raft through Class 5 rapids (more on that later)... rent out a house, work at a hostel, do interior design and I'm sure that there was something else... So she's pretty much kick ass... don't let the skirt fool ya.. Lauren knows what she's doing... (maybe) LOL

Soooo hit the class 3 rapids..cool... a little wet, but I'm good... Class 4 rapids we decide to start calling out the strokes... Not with 1,2 like the other rafts.. .We are gonna scream "Stroke it, Stroke it" LMAO... So we Stroke it Stroke it.. and Lauren says Faster!! HAHAHAHA SO we add on Deeper, Harder, Longer....

We are going and going and we come to the bridge where the Olympic kayaking route was built in 1996... so this isn't a baby rapid... This is some for real Olympian ish.. I am already feeling like I am on Team USA!! WOOT WOOT....

So Lauren preps us.. this is NONSTOP rowing through the rapids.. there are safety lines if we fall out, buuuut that isn't gonna happen.. we are STROKIN IT!!!! We drift our raft towards our Class 5 rapid... and Its fun... Faster water.. stronger current.. im getting wetter and wetter (ha)... Lauren's calling out the strokes....

2 Forward
"stroke it, stroke it"
All forward
"stroke it, stroke it"
Harder
Harder
Faster
Faster
Deeper
Deeper
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES
YES

GET DOWN!!!!

Wait.. what??? I'm looking all around and everyone is down.. so I try to get down and then I feel the boat moving... no control... somethings about to happen...

STROKE IT
YES

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES We hit that G-SPOT in the hydraulic and

Wait Wait WaiT!!! The boat is not flat.. there is nothing under us... I'm horizontal.. oooooh schnap...

boooom I fly underwater... I'm soaking wet.. damn

I'm remembering the safety rules (because Lauren was so awesome in explaining them) Keep my nose and toes above water.. and let the water take you to safety.. grab the rope...

I find the rocks and keep my legs up... cautious not to let my knees get all scrapped up.. that is not sexy...

and there is a group of me reaching for me... I see one rope and can't grab it.. I see a paddle but can't grab it.. Mostly because one guy is screaming "SWIM, GIRL, SWIM!!! SWIM BABY"

Oh shit sir... am I supposed to be swimming.. I thought this was a jacuzzi.. Okay ass.. damn this is Class 5 rapids.. aint so easy...

But I get up on the rocks and realize.. I JUST HAD THE TIME OF MY LIFE!!! THAT WAS SOOOO EFFIN COOL!!!! I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE WHITE WATER RAFTING!!!

SO I look frantically for my crewmates and we find each other and find out that everyone is okay and I'm pissed cause I';m thinking damn... wipe out... trip's over.. this SUCKS!

But a minute later..

OKAY!! We need 2 paddlers.. who's ready to go back in...

ME ME!!! I see Lauren at the helm and jump right in the boat ready to take on the OCOEE!!!

No paddle.. its somewhere down the river LOL But it's on!!!

We continue to raft... we find the rest of our crew and hit the rest of the rapids... sooo exhilirated by everything that we had been through and the fun of it all..

Author's Note: Lauren managed to NOT get tipped out of the boat, despite the rest of us biting the big one (ha another sex joke) .. and not because she was trying to save us.. .Only because she didnt wanna have to buy a case of beer.. No Swim Beer for Lauren.. I told ya she's a beast LOL

So we end up riding the awesome drift back to shore and realize that we have just been the luckiest crew ever... The river was rough.. the rocks were plenty, but we made it.. and we made it together...

Lauren is the awesomest.. and I'll never forget her because she was definitely a part of the best day of my entire life!!! :-))

How did I almost forget about this...

Today, I'm going to get my hair done and because I've been driving my tail all around the city this weekend, i'm sittin on E... So I go to my local QuikTrip and get my gas.. I have on some cute denim bermuda shorts and a tank top, hair pulled back in a pony tail cause.. it's about to be washed in 20 mins...

So OMG is playing on the radio and I put the pump back up and this old guy, maybe 55 or 60, reminiscent of the man you might see at the security desk in your local skyscraper says...

"Hey gorgeous..."
"Hi... have a great day!"
"Where is your husband?"
"Uhhhh..."
"You not married... Well... I know you got a man..."
"LOL Not exactly..."
"Wait honey, you got to let me give you my number.. go'on head and put my number in your phone.."
"I can't even do that sir," smiling wide.
"How old are you darlin?"
"27..."
"ooh shit you can put my number in there..."
"I can't. I'm sorry," shaking my head slightly, "I don't date men."
"Oh! So you date women?"

*** SIDEBAR**** WHy do niggas ask me this ish EVERY time I say I dont date men? WTF else do you think I date? Goats, giraffes, sloths? What other option is there??? OMG ***

Anyway... back to our story..

"Yes, I date women."

"Ooooh well that's cause you aint never had a man who can hit that spot right..."

"Well actually I have and honestly... I don't really need that spot hit... I'm kinda straight on that"

"oooh nah baby... I'm not talking about that spot... I'm talking about social intercourse.. I can get all up in your mind girl.. get in there with conversation and hit that spot so deep that you won't want me to come out."

"Ummmm that sounds appealing, but you know there is just something about a woman that I kinda need in my life..."

"Nah you don't cause you just need the right man to take care of you right.. I'll find out your wants, needs, and desire and with that mental penetration I'll have you wide open girl... When I just say that right thing and hit that spot with that social intercourse you wont have nothing else to even think about.. you wont ever let me leave... See a lot of women don't know about that how I can penetrate your mind and just get you going with the words I say.. you dont even have to take no clothes off and I'll have you excited and ready... "

"Well, that is intriguing and excellent game... but there's something I like about breasts..."

"Oooh you like titties huh, well you can have those too. .you can still look at those"

***SIDENOTE**** as I write this I wonder.. why the hell I held this long a convo with this mo'fo

"Well no, see I dont wanna just look.. I want them in the bed with me when I wake up and when I go to sleep... I just love the feminine energy"

"oooH shit baby.. Feminine energy.. I can give that to you... Energy is transferrable, so I'll just take it from you and penetrate your mind with it... you already know..."

"LMAO!!!!!! (did he just give me a physics lesson) Sir.. that's not gonna happen.. I'm sorry LOL"

"Oh come on.. just put my number in your phone.. im at least worth a conversation!!!"

"Can't even do it"

"Come on girl!"

I get into my car... close the door... End Scene..

Life, I wonder

Will it take me under?

Nope, not at all.

On the brink of a new school year, I always like to take time to reflect. A lot has changed in my life in the past few months, and things have changed drastically in the past 12. I look at my life and I am happy with it. I have a wonderful apartment. I have a good group of friends; I work with a great group of teachers. I have developed a strong spiritual practice that has become the foundation of my life.

The most important things that I reflect on right now are some things that I have come to know as true.

1. It's not about me. Other people's feelings, reactions, actions, decisions and preferences are not about me. They are not based in the things I did. They are not my fault.

2. I am responsible for me. I am responsible for the decisions I make, the perspective I have and the beliefs that I have. I am responsible for my emotions and that is a great power and responsibility.

3. My emotions and feelings are NOT who I am. Emotions are an illusion. There is no situation where I HAVE to feel a certain way, and there is always a time for me to decide how I am going to handle my feelings. I am not sadness or depression or anxiety. I am not an anxious, depressed or anxious person.. I am a person who has feelings and who can accept them and release them just as simply..

Number three should be number 1 because it has been so powerful in determining how I live my life moment to moment. I am no longer crippled or halted by bad news or disappointment because I can always focus my beliefs on what I know to be true. The truth is that I am a reflection of God, so there is nothing in this earth that can overwhelm me or take me under. i know that I am love and so I love myself because I am happy with who I am.


As I move into this new school year, I am focused on being more positive and being more understanding that some decisions are tough decisions but they must be made. My intuition is God speaking to me and so I have to listen because by listening I can avoid myself drama.

I am grounded, yet not self centered. I am in love with my life and no whim, decision, moment or afternoon can change that because my core is strong and will not be swayed by the winds of life.

Best Commercial Ever

And we were so slow.. we mailed away for applications and wrote essays and all that dumb ish!! Epic Fail guys.. Epic Fail


I am here to love you.

This is the blog of new minister of my church and I just loved every word. i hope it warms your heart and reminds you that I'm here to love you, life is here to love you and you are love yourself.


Cosmic Breadcrumbs: I Am Here To Love You

Best weekend ever

and if you were a part of it you already know why!!! WOOT WOOT :-))

Quote of the Century

You're trying to either impregnate or murder me!

My Neck, My Back

Nah..... not that version!! I hurt my back. My SI Joint is inflamed. I am down for the count. Okay not the entire count, but I couldnt do my fit test today and it hurts to do everything else.. sit, stand, stretch, lie, mastur....ooh wait.. that doesnt hurt LMAO!! Sorry... I know.. you're shaking your head.. my deepest apologies..


What is my SI joint you ask? I am happy to explain...

S
So basically, the joint where my spine bone connects to my pelvic bone is inflamed.. on both sides.. the ligaments are pulled, the muscles are tight. See.. I not only make you laugh, but this blog educates as well!!

It sucks. I am on anti-inflammatory drugs.. WOMP... I have to rest the muscles.. and ice them... it makes me miserable... I need a massage... I need a new back... anyone got some cartilage and bone I can borrow???

Sooooo

It's done... LMAO... You think about it... dream about it... then you finally do it.... and...

Average

LMAO

Life is great.

Its the weekend

I fall in love with someone different each week... E then S then C, well I'm headed to the club and we shall see who it'll be tonight..


is it you... is it you.. is it you... this is for my number 1!!

LMAO

Woot woot!!! Enjoy your saturday.. I sure will.

Work Crush






I fall in and out of love everyday it seems. Okay not love... lust... and something feels wonderful about the school girl crush. I might definitely get fired this year for coming on to my new coworker everyday... I really might. Hot isnt even the word. OMG... I might happen. I already propositioned her... cause.. well i'm nuts. LOL But a work crush is a def reason to get up in the morning.. and go into work nice and chipper... and get a readymade smile on my face. Same reason I always had a crush in school.. I'd choose someone in every single class to have a crush on... and it works... Hopefully I wont stare at her boobs too much..
And because of that I am going to yoga today!! I realized that it is so important to be accountable to myself the same way i am for those I love. So even though I didn't feel like going to the dentist and I'd rather watch Weeds than yoga... I already got my clean bill of mouth-ic health (is it mouth-ic or mouth-al?)) anyway... and I am on my way to work out because guess what? I love myself sooo much, that I am going to make sure I am taken care of. :-)))

What are you going to do to show yourself you love yourself today :-)??

Hey baby, wanna visit my sateen safari??

You know you do... I got a dope new set of sateen sheets to match my dope new apartment and they are in the sexiest giraffe print ever.. I slipped and slid all through the night trying to sleep as my pillow continuously slid from under my head lol ahhhhhhhh Sateen Satisfaction...


So baby, if you're down... you can visit my sateen safari for a little game of slip and slide...

Where they do that at?

Hey Lazy Lurkers..

Say something! If you read the blog just respond.. I'm trying to get a pulse of just how viral this blog is.. I'm thinking i will be like Perez Hilton or Nicole Bitchie in a few weeks!!

Alright... Hit it.


Tell me your favorite color and your favorite city and the word you hate to hear people say..

I'll go first..

Purple.. Chicago... "skinded" ie: She is definitely light skinded. womp.

Your turn....

Weekend at Fidel's

http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=27757446&postID=6250307318751943065
Soooo is Fidel Castro still alive? I secretly think he's sitting stiff in a chair someone in Cuba... with sunglasses and a camouflage shirt.. with that revolution beret cocked to the side...


UPDATE!! he is alive... i saw it on the news http://www1.voanews.com/english/news/americas/Fidel-Castro-Appears-Again-in-Public-Warns-of-War-98661574.html

but if you look at that pic and add a marionette string and sunglasses.. kinda still looks like Bernie!

North Carolina!!!!


Come on and raise up! Take your shirt off.. twist it around your head, spin it like a helicopter!!!!!!!

YEAH!!! WHAT!!!

Quandry.. or Conundrum if you may...

When does being true to yourself bleed into being morally irresponsible?
I wish I knew.

womp

Authentic Self

I have started to speak my dreams into existence. By articulating the things that I want they are coming into my life. I am doing the damn thing at my job. I have made some great people who I appreciate and who allow me to be myself. I have truly lived the truth. I have followed my gut, in times when the short term benefit would have been wonderful, and I do mean wonderful... but I've let any dis-ease in my body know that I am not on the right path. I honestly have been able to tap into myself and bring good people into my life automatically. :-) I am happy. I re-read my mission statement and it is the bomb. I wanna get an artist to make it beautiful so I can put it in my room.. or maybe thats my first art project for my apartment :-) and it will hang on the wall in the living room for everyone to see. Sounds just about right to me.

:-) I think I might be able to get a little wee one with no tonsils to help me :-)

Love.

Fences


"Some people build fences to keep people out and other people build fences to keep people in."

What kind of fences do you build?

random.

2 more days of summer school and then I can officially shut that part of my brain off. Tomorrow I'll be spending several hours at work trying to do something productive for next year LOL I love my job and I love that I love my job.. so It's not a big deal. I also have to get a new license. Womp. I lost mine somewhere.. .and carrying around a passport is getting old. I love errands... No I don't but sometimes you just gotta get it done. I just hope I can keep my old picture, cause its AWESOME. Go Spidey. I know when I move I'm gonna find it. 3 weeks till the move :-) are you excited.. cause I am.

The Big Chop is coming soon too, to a kitchen near you <--get it. kitchen? LMAO haaa i'm funny.

Team Awesome!!


I am at the right place right now. I am focused on achieving my goals. I know I am doing what I am supposed to do and everything is going in the right direction... My students did the damn thing on the CRCT!!!! I am so excited.. I am so validated.. I am so happy. I know that the CRCT is not the end all or be all.. but I do know that they learned.. They achieved.. and I am more than happy to report that i am a successful teacher. My kids both love me and they learn from me... so I have a long way to go and grow.. but I am on the right track...

Summer school even rocks!! My kids are hilarious... my co-teacher rocks... getting out at 12 rocks. Life is awesome.

I am officially on Team Awesome.

I love it!!

I love it. I think i am going to go to the moon this weekend.. are you ready to rocket!!! :-)

:-) I'm gonna read a book and eat some cheese and go to sleep... I am lovin this...

Trauma at the Toll Booth!!

Yesterday, I was taking the dope shortcut into the perimeter through good old GA 400... I had my 50 cents in my hand.. I drive up and there is a cashier AND one of those little funnel catching thingies... So I attempt to hand the money to the guy and he just looks at me and nods towards the basket.. whatever dude...So with my miniature limb I toss my change out of the window.... and clank clank... both quarters land on the floor... I panic... In Chicago its apparently illegal to open your door and pick up your change at a toll, or so says my mom..

And I dont have any other cash. WOMP!!! I asked the guy, wide eyes and frightened, if i can get my change... he makes some random gesture and I proceed to open the door.. all the while my trusty passenger is freaking out. OMG this is so embarrassing.. hurry up!!

one quarter is conveniently right at my feet.. the other has wandered off in that pesky way that change can do... but where did it roll.... I look left, then right.. on the curb, ooooH There is it by my tire.. .. ooh shit.. that's a dime... then it dawns on me. FUCK!!!!! its under the car... ick...

I crouch down.. aware of the line of cars forming behind me.. but cracking up all the while, why Passenger Patty is still yelling at me to hurry up LOL... I find the quarter and toss it in and Laugh my ass off... the guy in the booth.. not so amused...


Only me!

Quote of the hour.

“Loving oneself is no easy matter because it means loving all of oneself, including the shadow where one is inferior and socially so unacceptable. The care one gives this humiliating part is also the cure. Thus the cure is a paradox requiring two incommensurables: the moral recognition that parts of me are burdensome and intolerable and must change, and the loving, laughing acceptance which takes them just as they are, joyfully, forever. One both tries hard and lets go, both judges harshly and joins gladly.” John Hillman

Work of Art

I was watching the show Work of Art and felt inspired. It was fun. I'm def gonna do this again.. let me know what you think it is! And please remember my art training is as extensive as Mr. Bruner's Art 1 LOL

I call it... Sharpie my Pencil... Not really but that's funny... Okay for real my 4 readers, what do you think it is...

And a child shall lead them



I have a mentee. She is awesome. Last night, I was up late and woke up tired.. worked summer school, burned WAY too much gas running errands and then barely had a chance to change my clothes, and in the midst of all of that.. I wasn't really having the best day ever. Therefore, at 2:30 when it was time for me to get up and go pick her up for her birthday soiree, I wasn't feeling it... then it started to rain .. I mean POUR on the way... and I began rehearsing my sorry to do this to you speech..

"Doll, Sorry to do this to you, but I'm just going to take you home because I'd rather not drive downtown in this rain. I promise i'll make this up to you on another day." I was ready to totally ditch her and then be back in the bed or on the couch by 4.

But I got to the school, the rain let up... and I saw her bobbing down the steps and I knew I couldnt... I hung up the phone with my mom loving her little pep talk...

The day was fun.. we talked and had a good time, but I was still having a hard time shaking my general malaise... when my Sugardumpling says.. "Look at what I found today."

Out of her pocket, she pulls a tiny tiny stone, about the size of a dime that says, "Let Go, Let God" And at that moment, I knew I was in the right place, with the right person and that life is always right.

Even when it doesnt feel good... life is right.. So I will promise to Let Go and Let God because my life is awesome. It truly is.. and sometimes you need a newly turned 14 year old to remind you exactly what you need to do!! :-))))

Thanks Doll.

Bitchassness in Bosses...

make me sick.. If you have a problem with my work product or practices, then man the fuck up and have a conversation with me face to face.. do not be a punk ass bitch and write me a letter and put it in my box and not address it to me, but put my name on the outside and then have the audacity to not sign your name... gimme a damn break... Grow some balls and lets handle this like adults...

Give a nigga a walkie talkie and all of a sudden they think they the shit...

Dialog in the Dark

On Monday, while you were dicking away your holiday with booze and burgers, I was educating myself and expanding my horizons.. Oh, hell no, I wasn't reading, or writing, or volunteering with old folks or anything... c'mon.. it was a holiday after all.. all of those activities are total downers!!!


Instead, I went to an awesome and awe inspiring exhibit called Dialog in the Dark.


The exhibit is done in total darkness, and you have a walking cane like blind folks use.. and as you go through the exhibit you are guided through different rooms and asked to do different tasks and experience the daily exercises that people do.. everything was totally normal, except the fact that I couldn't see a damn thing..

You know I have claustrophobic tendencies and generally do not enjoy crowds because I HATE random people touching me and bumping into me, but I found the DITD experience to make me much more patient. There was nothing I could do, there was no one purposefully running into me because they were ALL blind.. I also kept feeling liek I could see things, even though I know the room was pitch black.. It was kinda like when people lose their limbs but they still feel pain in them... yeah I don't know LOL it was wild.

It made me appreciate my sight much more than I ever had in the past... and I certainly no longer take it for granted.. just for the ease that it brings..

But it also did make me realize that I am missing out on experiencing alot of life because I am not using my other senses as much... I am not smelling and feeling things to get the full experience. The smell of the pineapple in the exhibit was sooo enticing.. it was like the first time I had ever smelled one... 'Twas AWESOME..

DITD is in Atlanta until June 2011...s o if you come down here.. Go.. If you don't live down here.. then wait for it to come to you and then... Go!!

In honor of our visually impaired brethren the rest of this post will be in Braille:

.:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :.


.:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :. .:. :: . : :. :: :.

Have a fabulous Friday!!! :-)

A Case of the Mondays!

So it's Sunday night and I decide I am going to be nice and bring bagels for my team for post planning day!! (I need to get those out of the trunk tonight...gross) Anyway.. Monday morning, I wake up early leaving enough time for me to stop by Einsteins and get the bagels and make it to work... I pull in, wait in line forever cause that one guy didn't know what he was doing.. but leave out excitedly with my bagel tote in one hand and my large coffee in the other...

The day is bright and brilliant, not a cloud in the sky. I place my phone and coffee on hood of the car and set the bagels on the seat.. .sip on my french vanilla and get in the car... I crank the tunes.. roll down the windows and I'm JAMMING to Black Eyed Peas.. "Ima Be." I make my right onto the street and hear Badoombadoom doom... Bump bump.. booom.. I look on the road and there's nothing there... I turn down the radio and listen to my tires and I brush it off and sail to the red light...
Then despite my No Phone Zone pledge, I reach for my Blackberry and... okay must be in my purse.. hmm... maybe in the seat... nothing




OOOOH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO



It was on the top of the car!!! That was the boom!!! Shit Shit Shit... I picture my blackberry smashed into 2000 pieces scattered on the road... I make a super illegal U-turn... Swing around.. stop traffic and then I find it.. lying innocently on the concrete.. perfectly protected by it's rubber case...

And that's my idea of a perfect case of the Mondays!!!

Make that Money... Don't let the money make you.

Vacation over... Summer school starts tomorrow :-)

:-)

It's Sunday... and my day has officially been a day of rest. I've enjoyed resting and hanging out and I am excited because I got my scrapbook stuff out and I am ready and excited for my Scrapbook class on Friday.

I am excited for my life. Like for real, and even in the moments of worry, I find myself able to calm down and relax and just enjoy the moment. Breathe deeply and feel whole. :-)

I'm ELATED because




That is all!!

The time is....... now?

My mentee asked me if I had a boyfriend. I said no.. She said.. have you ever had a boyfriend.. I said yes. I must admit that these are personal questions, but my mentee is definitely my homie.. part of my family. We've transcended the school dynamic. Anyway. Then her eyes open wide and she says, "Are you a lesbian?!?" and I felt my eyes shift to the left, because I'm not used to lying about this anymore.. and said no. "Are you bisexual?!?!" No, i said again. She told me she thinks her bff is a lesbian. I said I doubted that... and then i taught her that being straight is also called "heterosexual" Cause she had no clue.

The long story short is... while I have no desire to spread my business among the adolescents that fill the seats at my job.. I think it might just be time for me to step out of the workplace closet.. Not in a big loud ignorant way...cause that's not just me. But as I get to know my coworkers and appreciate them more, deceit feels more and more wrong. sooooo I think it's time.

Maybe I should just...

100 proof rootbeer vodka




means... alcoholic floats aaaallll summer

In Awe


Today was a tiring day at work to say the least, but this evening there was a book signing for Pearl Cleage. She wrote What Looks Like Crazy on an Ordinary Day, an Oprah book club pick, and among tons of other stuff, including a play I saw last summer Blues for an Alabama Sky.


My mama LOVES her, so I told her weeks ago I was going to get her a book signed by her, her new book. I TOTALLY didn't feel like going after hard day, meeting, traffic, working out and negotiating my new lease (trying to)... BUT I promised Mom Dukes and what could I really say.... SOooo I went...

AND IT WAS AMAZING. Pearl Cleage is the kind of woman I'd like to grow into as I get older... smart, quick, bright, confident, calm, peaceful, genuine and honest. She is dopppppe... and I got her to sign a book for my mother.. and my mom will be so happy.... sooo it was TOTALLY WORTH IT. Each day I am surprised by how I find so many unexpected and wonderful reasons to smile :-)

Just Call Me Ms. Ikea





Sooo I realized that Ikea thinks I am smarter than I think my students are... so I'ma make them rise to the occasion... What you talkin bout Spidey? Yeah I know... Let me take you back about 3 hours.

So a playa like me is redecorating her apartment I had some little Ikea frames so I could put my pictures up. I open the box.. it has the glass front, the cardboard back and then four random clips that look crazy.. and they are NOT already attached to the frame.. so I twist it around look at it then start frantically searching the package for some kinda instructions.. Now this is Ikea, so I know I won't get words.. but a picture? some sort of graphic illustration to shed some light on this photo frame situation? I turned it upside down and all around, searched for the plastic on the floor to see if I missed something and then I realize.. damn I just gotta figure this out.. Lo and behold.. in half the time I spent looking for the instructions.. I figured it out myself.. And I felt better about myself for the discovery..

So as I go into next year I'm going to do less spelling out the way to the information and more opportunities for my kids to discover it on their own..

Little lessons learned from a 3 dollar frame..

Just Call Me Peter Brady







Who knew the Brady Bunch could be so damn deep... I'm rearranging, everything will be all good next episode ;-)

Crazy Side Effects...


so... i'm glad it's not anal leakage or sleepy orgies.. but my new medicine has the most bizarre side effect... excessive yawning...


So I yawn.. all day.. regardless.. I promise you aren't that boring.

Cliques Might Not be Such a Bad Idea

I used to be a mean girl and as I've become an adult.. I am not proud of it. I think I was kind of ridiculous and way too rude and basically being a dumbass trying to act big and bad so that no one saw how insecure I was... Cliques were stupid in high school... I see my students and their cliques and I think it's stupid with them too..


BUT I wish I could form a clique at my job.. I wish I could be a mean girl for like 10 mins and tell the two people on my team that I hate.. Please DO NOT talk to me. When we leave a room and do not invite you to the new location.. it is because we are trying to get away from you. Lurking around us while we are talking DOES NOT include you in the conversation and is basically just damn creepy... So... if it is work related.. send me an e-mail and I will respond at my leisure.. if it is not work related tell someone else.. and If I am ever in a group of people telling them anything and you happen to be there.. I still am emphatically NOT talking to you... so please don't respond directly to me.


But I can't do this because I mean it's unprofessional. As I typed that rant out.. I realize I have a problem and need to get over it.. BUT I mean come one.. one good cussing out might be painful for a minute.. but it would prevent another 190 days of awkward moments, eye rolling and me just basically wishing you had called in sick today...


Good thing tomorrow is Friday.

Food For Thought

Is it really cool to be Ho?

Ho Sit Down. This song is so ridiculous, I don't even need to give you any commentary. Kiely sit the fuck down, get into counseling, go to somebody's church, and repent for the sin you have done to humanity, women, black people, Disney, your mama, aliens who may be viewing through space age satellites.. and my kids who might one day be on www.dumbshitfromalongtimeago.com and find this analrot that you actually took the time to produce so you must think it's good.



Shame on you.

Getting to Know You...


Getting to know all aboooooout you.. Getting to like you.. getting to hope you like me!


I have been on a journey of self-improvement which has slightly derailed this once fabulously hilarious blog, to one that has become all touchy feely... buuut whatever.. You get what I give.. i give what I feel LOL.. (hence the title) HA!

So I've been reading lots of blogs about happiness, one being The Happiness Project. This has been turned into a book.. which sits on The New York Times Best Sellers List.. go Gretchen Rubin. And this is a quiz from her blog that is supposed tap into who you TRULY are.. we shall see..

Here’s a quiz, lightly adapted from The Creative Lawyer, to help you figure out your interests. Not what you WISH interested you, but what ACTUALLY interests you.

1. What part of the newspaper do you read first?

I skim the front page first... I read the advice columns first.

2. What are three books you’ve read in the past year?

Prep, How to Win Friends and Influence People, Outliers

3. As a child, what did you do in your free time?

Played board games, listened to music, watched tv, read the encyclopedia and other books, talked on the phone, wrote.

4. What’s a goal that has been on your list for a few years?

Get back into dance classes regularly

5. What do you actually do with your free time?

read, write, eat with friends, go to the movies, talk to friends.

6. What types of activities energize you?

Dancing, talking to friends, community service, doing things outdoors, creating things, going to concerts, drinking wine, traveling

7. What famous people intrigue you?

Janet Jackson, Tina Fey, Niecy Nash, Zoe Saldana, Michelle Obama, Heidi Klum, Keri Washington, Malcolm Gladwell (Okay.. i might be mixing up intrigue and arouse on some of these.. but whatever..)

Hmmmm from answering these, I think that I'm pretty in touch with who I am.. I think it was easy to answer them. I think I just want some things to add to my things I do with my free time. I know there are activities that I am dying to incorporate and I am going to have to make that my goal this summer, whether I am doing it solo or with you, because I want to expand my horizons and realize that I love doing new things, and trying new stuff.

The last question was much more difficult to answer, because I think I look for most famous people for the superficial, and I don't have much personal interest in them for real. I mean there are politicians.. I guess Nancy Pelosi is on that list cause she is a BAAAAAAAAD woman for real.

How easy is it for you to answer these questions? Share them in the comments.

Lent Update

Cause I'm a copy cat....

I forgot about it half the time.. and then complained the other half.. so No. Spidey did not do well on the Lent tip.

Ah well.. .I did so much more in the last 40 (or so) days that have heightened my awareness and expanded my life and made me reach new heights that I can't even be mad.

Boot Camp... FINISHED

I finished my 30 day boot camp. I worked out.. I did the damn thing... I showed up even when it rained and even when I hated it. I was super excited that I finished everyday! And today was bootcamp graduation. I went with Snuggnut and had a great time! Two free glasses of wine... and good conversation later... I won The CONE!!! I am the greatest camper LOL Awesome... It was signed by the coaches.. and I felt really proud and accomplished... Life is good..

Oooh.. Ooooh.. And to prove that that damn thirty days was worth something.. I slipped into my Skinny JEANS!! no, not skinny leg... those jeans I put in a rubbermaid container years ago cause I realized that trying to squeeze in them every few weeks was futile.. .But I had them on!! :-)

YAY.. GO me... AND I will hit my 25th workout in 30 days tomorrow.. to complete ANOTHER thing on my 101 list.. BOOYOW! How you like me now!

Live life off the Wall!!

Number 51 of 101 Things in 1001 is Complete






On March 13, 2010, I went Indoor Rock Climbing at Atlanta Rocks... My BFF Jill from work and I went to Atlanta Rocks and turned that mother out! I wore my Michael Jackson "Off the Wall" t-shirt cause I thought the irony was hilarious. The harness made my ass look ridiculous, but I definitely felt safe in the arms and hands of Allister.. our cute little PYT instructor. He was the cutest little preppy white boy with Vans and a motorcycle. The bad boy that looks like the boy next door that you know is getting killer poon from all the girls...







But back to the Rock Climbing... Some of the walls were really hard, but we made it to the top of (most of) them. Even the ones I didn't get to the top of.. I felt great pushing myself and working my best and going past my limits.. and realizing that on a Saturday night it's just as fun to hit
Atlanta Rocks that it is to hit the club or my fave restaurant.

Boot Camp Day Whatever


Boot camp is whooping my ass.... for real... It makes me feel like I am pledging for just one hour a day... 45 mins back in hell.. But my body is looking great! I am swimming in some of my pants... my skirts fit better. I just got a little more pooch going on.. but i fit into a dress that is a size..... 4!! get it. get it. :-) I hate it.. I don't want to go.. but I feel great when I'm done... it makes me say.. I DID THAT!! It makes me go faster, further, fiercer than I would have ever gone on my own!! :-) 3 workouts left.. then I get to give you my fitness test results!



What do you say...

when your 13 year old mentee goes to New Orleans and instead of bringing you back a mug (as you requested).. she brings you a shot glass that says...
.... any ideas.. LOL

Questions:





Me: What rule do you think is stupid? (related to the story we were about to read)

Student: The rule that teachers have to teach us. They should have invented robots to do it by now.

Mission Statement



My life has needed guidance. I have been taking some time to think about the life that I want and the principles that I need to follow to live that vision. My mission statement is below- something for me to constantly refer to and help me remember who I am and where I am going. This uses broad terms to guide my life.. Next step is the concrete action plan for people to forgive and engage, activities to do to take care of myself, traits I need to work on. Just sharing a part of my journey.



Mission Statement of Life

My mission is to love myself completely and fully accepting any and all doubts as a part of my natural journey.

My goal is to share my authentic self openly and fully with others.

I serve others as a way of showing my appreciation for the abundance in my life.

I nurture myself daily, weekly, and monthly in small in large ways to honor the value I see in myself.

I celebrate the god that I see in others, remembering that we are here to love and be loved and that judgment is futile.

I work to understand my family, friends, students and colleagues in a genuine way reserving judgment and pledging to meet them where they are.

I fully and continually honor my commitments to relationships, organizations, and causes that are important to me.

I uplift all negative thoughts and emotions and I pledge to retire the story of who I am, because the possibilities for my growth are limitless.

I live my potential and nurture my vision for life.

And so it is.

Cleanse


Today it rained. Again. The storms woke me up overnight. There was thunder and lightning. I dragged out of bed and went to work and did my job. Yay me. By the time I was driving home, I realized that something had happened. I felt lighter. I felt cleaner. I felt a release. I felt like the rain had not only cleansed the air, but also me. It fell softly on my shoulders, releasing tension and making me feel more alive.


Then I went to go kick it with Mayor Kasim Reed and CEO Burrell Ellis, cause I got it like that. :-) Today was a good day.. OOOO aaaahhh

Sunday Funday!






Today was a great sunday. I went to church and heard a wonderful talk about the importance of change and how we have to realize that change is not optional. Change is important, change is the only constant. The talk reiterated my favorite quote "Just when the caterpillar thinks the world is over, it becomes a butterfly." and it made me realize that I have more agency that I think I do when it comes to change. It helped me put into perspective the changes that I am making and working to make. It made me realize that as I grow it is okay to change, and it is important to feel the emotions of change and not be left powerless by them or make me doubt myself in the middle of them. I am strong. I have gone through change before, and made it out alive. I will go through change again and make it then too...


I also met some GREAT people today at church, which made me realize that I have changed more in the past year than I thought I did. The change is coming from the inside out. :-)

Charter school in tough neighborhood gets all its seniors into college - chicagotribune.com

Charter school in tough neighborhood gets all its seniors into college - chicagotribune.com

Posted using ShareThis

A Calling

You know, I never knew what a calling was or really understood when people talked about what they were "called" to do. I never had an AHA moment when I was drawn into a career or a hobby, as if pulled by gravity. But I was thinking about it and your calling, your purpose in life comes so naturally that it is not work, it is not difficult, and it you do not second guess yourself.
That's when I realized that teaching is my calling.

When I am in front of my class, I have no fear, no anxiety and I do not second guess myself. I don't question my next movement or what would be the best. I just know. It comes from a place in me that is in complete peace. I am not concerned whether the kids like me nor am I worried about my reputation. I am patient (kinda), at peace and without any insecurity. I am like a fish in water.

That is why through budget cuts and administrative bs, I never have thought of searching for a new job. I have never imagined leaving the classroom, because what else can I do, but what I am called to do? The excitement and challenge that comes with being in front of my students, and teaching them the things they need to know, both for the test, and for their lives,... that's where my magic happens.

Are there tough days? Yes. But every day is filled with joy. Filled with a smile and an energy that fulfills me completely. There is a reason that I keep going back. That I return again and again.. and why I continue to strive to do my best.

There is a peace in knowing I have found my calling. Finding that peace has also allowed me to know what to look for in the other facets of my life. A calm, a warmth, an ease that reminds me why a life is so important to be lived.

Where do you feel that peace? Where do you feel like you are exactly where you are supposed to be?

BOOT CAMP


Week 1 of Bootcamp is DONE!!!

The workouts are intense... they push you hard.. my muscles HURT.. some muscles I dont think I have ever worked out before in my life! OMG I feel accomplished.. my food log book is keeping my eating right.. So i managed to NOT put down the 2 sour patch kids I had today... BUT next week if I drink wine.. then I'll get 5 extra mins of working out.. WOMP.. i am ready to work the program though. I want to make sure that at the end of this 4 weeks.. I look GREAT! I have lost 13 pounds since January! I am feeling better.. my clothes are starting not to fit.. All in all.. Spidey is making it happen.. I need to sit and do my measurements so I have an accurate account of my progress... but rest assured.. I'm getting it in.. It reminds me of being on line.. yet I signed up for it again LOL anyway...


I'll holla at you at the end of week 2..

Albums that Changed My Life

Alot of people wouldn't think of me as a music head. I don't really listen to ten thousand songs or artists or catch live shows, or really venture out in my musical tastes. However, there are several albums that growing up spoke my truth. Albums that spoke words that I couldn't speak myself and articulated emotions that, until I heard the song, were brand new to me. This is in no particular order.

Oooooooooooohhh on the TLC Tip- by TLC. This album taught me to be a feminist I think! I remember so many lessons were learned from this album. I can be bad by myself, wear what I want to wear, demand what I want in a relationship and eliminate fake ass friends from my life. Now, I can't say I followed ALL of this advice, but I am glad to have songs that let me know some real ish about life at the ripe old age of 10.

Jagged Little Pill by Alanis Morissette

My Life by Mary J. Blige

Me Against the World by 2Pac

History by Michael Jackson

Rhythm Nation 1814 by Janet Jackson

Velvet Rope by Janet Jackson

Butterfly by Mariah Carey


This post is to be continued...

grading papers


Grading papers on the weekend is the worst. I hate it.. but sometimes its a necessary evil. I guess I'm not actually grading papers right now because I am blogging. oooh well.. Since I've had a mimosa (or 2) i can get it done with and keep it moving by 3 or 4 LOL


Ahh well.

Nigger Pass

John Mayer's got one!! Or does he? Well even if he does, black women of the world.. he is not interested in dating YOU!!!

"I don't think I open myself to it," Mayer said of dating black women. "My d--- is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a f-----' David Duke c---. I'm going to start dating separately from my d---."


He continued to say....

"Someone asked me the other day, 'What does it feel like now to have a 'hood pass?' " he told Playboy. "And by the way, it's sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a 'hood pass, you could call it a n---a pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a 'hood pass if you really have a 'hood pass? But I said, 'I can't really have a 'hood pass.' I've never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, 'We're full.' "


Well in response to this... I say, HELL to the naw. I think John Mayer and his white supremacist penis would get crazy ass looks in any black neighborhood and if I brought him to Easter dinner half my family would think I just had Jungle Fever, and wonder why i went for such a not cute white dude LOL . My mom has no clue who John Mayer is... GUARANTEED.. hold on let me call her and ask.. because I know my Blogreaders expect nothing but FACTS from me.. Okay.. she knows.. but whatever.. Bring him into the 100s and I don't think he'd get a good ole hood homecoming..

I mean John Mayer.. black folks listen to you.. but you are not Robin Thicke... He's got so much swag he talking about getting girls pregnant with R. Kelly( the king of niggas), Tyrese (the king of fictional niggas- Jody!) and the American Dream... hahaha, no explanation needed. Now that's a hood pass if I ever heard of one!

Why I Run...

I throw on my workout clothes, lace up my shoes and head out.. I do it quickly because nothing in me feels like running. It's been a long day- the kids were crazy, i didnt get a good night sleep. I didn't eat enough.. and all I want is to lay on the couch and have a drink.. but my Blackberry reminded me 10 mins ago that it's time to run. Before I know it.. I'm grabbing my water and my ipod and headed to the gym.

I start with the first step and find myself unable to stop. I run because I can, but unlike so many of my ancestors, I don't have to. I run because I can feel my heart pumping hard, and I know that it is getting stronger every single day. Strong in the fight against the heart disease and stroke that took my father far too soon. When it starts to hurt I force myself to continue because no one thinks that black girls really run. They scoff at me in disbelief. But I run to be strong, I run to get hard. I run because with each step I am becoming more and more me.

I love myself when I run. I love what I am doing. I love where I am going. I love what I am accomplishing. I love love me.

Lazy Saturdays

I didnt get out of bed until 8:o0pm HAHAHA> I love a lazy saturday. I watched my shows on On Demand and slept on and off. I watched Bridezilla where the girl got left at the altar and then went off to marry the guy anyway the next day.. low self esteem is real.

Today was fun... Now I have to clean and clean out my cabinets for the pesticide guys on Monday.l. a little more than 3 days notice would have been good.. but he.. at least I wont have critters.

What did you do this saturday?

The Season for Peace and Nonviolence

Jan 31-Feb 28 This time is to be dedicated to being nonviolent and peaceful in thought, action and word. There's even cool stuff to do and smile card to pass along to pay it forward.

February 1- Tell someone, a family member or friend, how much you care about them. <---did this. e-mailed my cousin. Cool beans. Yay me.

February 1 Part Deux- Appreciation- Write down 10 things that you appreciate about yourself, then read it aloud.

Now because I am a nerd I am have to define appreciation so I know I am saying the right thing.
Appreciate- to be grateful or thankful for

Okay

1. I am grateful for my sense of humor.
2. I am grateful for my commitment to learning.
3. I am grateful that I remain committed to things that matter to me even when they get tough.
4. I am grateful for my ability to forgive.
5. I am grateful for my commitment to my health.
6. I am grateful that my heart is open to be loved and love freely.
7. I am grateful that I am always looking for a way to be better.
8. I am grateful that I am becoming more open to trying new things.
9. I am grateful that I can see my faults, even when I dont want to admit them.
10. I am grateful that I have chosen a career that I really do enjoying.

Stupid List 1

HORRIBLE Songs that I HATE that I know all the Words to:

1. "Too Close" by Next
2. "Wifey" by Next
3. "Umbrella" by Rihanna
4. "Tubthumping" by ChumbaWumba otherwise known as "I get knocked down, but I get up again. No, you're never gonna get me down."
5. "GHETTOut" by Changing Faces
6. "My Love is the Shhh!" – Somethin’ for the People
7. "Horse and Carriage" Cam'ron and Ma$e
8. ALL SONGS by 3LW Okay really just "No More" but yeah.. all and the Cheetah Girls spinoff
9. "Return of the Mack" Mark Morrison
10. Follow Me by whoever that douche bag is.
11. "Getting Jiggy Wit It" by Will Smith

Quote of the month!

Picture this.. my classroom, 7th period, with my neer-do-wells. We are reading a passage.. I have learned never to take vocabulary terms for granted... Intro.. quote of the week.

Me: So, does anyone know a jury is?

A couple of hands go up... I figure.. yeah this is easy.. i'll call on you Johnny-Be-Bad

Johnny: Yeah! It's something you wear around your neck!!

ba-dum-bum

Sigh... this is the future of our nation.. Those who don't know the difference between jury and jewelry. :-\ AND it wasn't my country drawl... we read the word from the text.

but also the hilarious reason why I teach!!!

Taylor Lautner




Is Taylor Lautner undeniably attractive? YES. I mean, if you have seen New Moon, or any of the pictures from New Moon, or his body or anything having to do with his abs, arms, pecs, back, shoulders. well you get the point... . If you don't just look up!

I TOTALLY want him to be my little ManBoy crush.. I mean a little PYT that I can think is super de duper cute...and the added lust of feeling a little dirty about it. Kinda like when I was in college and saw the B2K video and.. well you know.

However, I can't simply get there with TayTay. He just feels like such a sexy lame.. and not in the ooh Sexy Nerdy kinda way.. where you wear glasses and know geeky computer stuff.. He's a sexy lame like. OMG I want you off of this screen cause you have a weirdo robotic voice.. like Doogie Howser.. but with Doogie Howser, I mean come on. he was a 16 y/o doctor.. it fit.. If Doogie had a body like Whoa.. we'd all have been confused then too as he typed away on the ORIGINAL BLOG! Think about it... yup.. (BTW. i loved Doogie Howser!)

But I digress. Tay also just feels stiff.. like I just wanna shake him up and make him dance.. jump around, scream or something... He's the guy in college that I'd invite out every time so that I could get him drunk and see what he's REALLY like.. Yet, I do not know Mr. Lautner... only as Jacob Black or Sharkboy through the screen...

But I certainly hopes he gets heart throb make over by the time he turns 21.. so he can come out as some sexy action star with no shirt and hot sexy scenes with some wild woman.. think Sliver w/ William Baldwin (who used to be my boo) or that kinda Matthew McConaughey sexy heat where you just wanna growl.. OR even better... my sexy boo from Grey's Anatomy Eric Dane... YES!!! Okay.. Tay has potential.. I certainly hope this is a summit and not a peak!