I remember when I was 6 or 7 we went to Great America with our babysitter. We had the time of our lives. We had coolers full of food and drinks and I can still remember how large and busy everything seemed. How exciting and irresistable it all was. I couldn't imagine anything better than that trip.

We drove home exhausted after nightfall and from what I've seen after a day like that kids usually fall asleep when their heads hit the pillow. But not me. I laid in my bed staring at the top bunk devastated. I knew I should be remembering the funnest day ever but instead my heart was heavy. There was a deep pit in my stomach and tears pooled in my eyes. I laid there tossing and turning for what seemed like forever, sobbing with the pain of a child who hasn't learn that its polite to hold in her tears.

I cried because I never thought I'd have that much fun again. That night I experienced my first withdrawal. The endorphins of a great day settling as I sobered back into my regular life.

This week I've been in withdrawal again, grasping at straws, searching for stimulation to stop me from falling so hard. This Christmas I remembered the feeling of real joy that can't be felt through a text message or a gchat. The feeling of having the ones you love right there beside you to talk about everything... or nothing at all.

Productivity Check

Okay. I have several things to do today. I am going to put them in the blog. in hopes that it will motivate me to get them done. Some things may be cryptic.. but who cares. you get the point

1. Get 7up cake recipe from aunt
2. purchase ingredients and sifter
3. call UHC
4. reservations
5. work out (please help me with this one)
6. evite
7. mail letters

Now off to get my car serviced :-)) Productivity Rules!!

B. Enchanted!!!

Omg. Soo I spent all day logging into freaking G Chat every 5 minutes thinking where the hell is B!! She's my vacation buddy.. we get to run our mouths on G-chat.. Im bored. why isnt she there... and then BOOM.. duhh. .she's on vacation. ARGH

she's always on friggin vacation. (off to sip more haterade)


TASSIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you so much. Your cappuccino made me almost tear up because it was available in my own home... This is my kitchen!!! Full of beautiful coffee drinks. I decided to make them all at one time..
kidding. but look at the possibilities. I LOVE my Tassimo.. I had a delicious Maxwell House Cappuccino yesterday with a nice frothy milk layer mmmmm and today I am having starbucks.. i dont think I enjoy this blend very much.. but i love it. anyway. in one moment. 1 cup at a time. Enjoying it all.. mmmmm what a reason to wake up in the morning.


As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.
-- Donald E. Westlake

This quote sums up my Christmas experience. The weather in Chicago was wet and cold. I had shopping to do, conflicting engagements.. tons of stuff that was annoying and aggravating to say the least. BUT!!!

My Christmas was one of the best I can ever remember. I got to spend time with my cousins. I got to spend time with my sisters. I got to spend time with my brother. I got to watch Broham and Snuggnut talk nerd. I got to see some great friends.... and really remember what its like to feel a room (rooms) full of love.

Living so far away it can seem like home is a place that I am happy to be away from... but i'm not. I really really enjoyed spending time with my cousin out at the club. (there was a fight that ended the night, but nothing like home) I just had a good time enjoying the holiday and some really good drinks and some really good laughs. I really had a good time with my friends who came over for Kwanzaa.. what seemed like it was going to be a bust due to the snow, really turned into such a wonderful time. They got up and acted silly during charades... we guessed and laughed and talked and hugged... and it really made me realize what the holidays are all about.. good people and good friends...

I think that's why Christmas is so close to New Years... Christmas teaches you whats important in life, so you can go into the New Year focusing on the right things! :-)

Now here are some quotes to take me into 2010...

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things" ~John Burroughs

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day" ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas." ~Anonymous

101 in 1001 Update #2

Sooooooo... 101 in 1001 has been going well.

#7. I wrote one letter and got it sent off. I am thinking about getting several real life pen pals.. like people i already know.. and writing to them instead of writing to random folks.. cause that hasn't been going so well... But I got one letter off..

#34. I am writing 3 pieces right now and haven't been able to really call them finished because i'm not happy with them.. but it's okay. it's in progress

#36. Volunteered at the Toy Party, which is the killer winter gay event of the year.. I registered VIP guests and helped For All Kids as they collected THOUSANDS of toys.. It was great fun. Successfully engaged in some small talk and did it all by myself! Plus I got a free t-shirt.. soooo 3 hrs down

AND when I go home, i'm going to watch a classic film with my mom and try to gather pictures for her scrapbook. It should be lots of fun.. I love the holidays!!

Ooooh my relaxed hair is growing out nicely.. I have TONS of new growth.. and I am simply draping.. Long hair dont care!!! :-)))

Hellooooooooooooooo Chicago in 7 hours.

For you as we go towards a new year

My blog readers are the most introspective folks ever. striving for excellence and forever seeking self improvement. i love them. I found this.. a PDF by Seth Godin about What Really Matters. The link below gives the background on it and a link to download. It's extensive but really cool...


Check it out. let me know what you think.
YES!!! Vacation is here. Let me give you some Measurable Goals. cause a nerd like me can't relax on vacation..

1. clean out drawers and reorganize them. This is my vacation ritual. done ever christmas, spring and summer break religiously.

2. begin working out before the 1st.. its so trite if you do it as a resolution

3. READ!!

4. Smile

5. Visit somewhere new in Atlant a

6. Rest

7. write write write

8. Get my car fixed up :-)

Lacking the Skills

I cannot effectively execute the ever-hilarious Blog Strikethrough... I always forget.. I see everyone's blog and think it's HILARIOUS when they do it.. but I can't do it.. it's not in my genes. Probably because I leave the ridiculousness there.. no visible editing even considered.

Christmas Eve.

Tomorrow is the last day of school for 2009.. YEEEEHAWWWW.. I've done my lesson plans for my Extended Learning class, and almost finished are my lesson plans for LA. I am sooo excited to get it all done tomorrow, so I can sit back this weekend (and the rest of the break) and act a fool.

i am excited for my trip home.. an ackie event where i can see the cool kids...

Soooo I might wake up tomorrow like most kids do on Christmas Day.. cause GUESS WHAT!?! Its the best day ever...

AND we are getting bonkers after work :-) Margs in Charge

2 days without

ever felt like you wanted to spill your soul to someone... the same old story you need to get out to provide you with some relief, but you are afraid because if it's a pang you don't want to deal with... why would you expose anyone else to it? So you swallow it, and wait for the moment, however long, to pass. I've had this same cloud forever, and sometimes I want it to go away and let the light in, and other times, I just wish someone was in the rain with me, so that I would know that just one other person knew what this storm feels like.

101 in 1001 Update #1

Okay, so my 101 in 1001 hasn't been super productive.

#82. I deleted my MySpace, which was definitely necessary. Though not on my list, I have done a good job of cultivating my relationships with my mentees.

#43. I have also joined some MeetUp groups in hopes that I will meet my new homies, but I haven't been to those events yet.. sooo its in the beginning stages. One of the meetings is a book club meeting for Hill Harper's The Conversation, which I definitely don't want to read, so I'm trying to decide if it's worth it as a means to an end.

#74 and #7 Today I am on my way to get some stationery so that I can get my letters out to my PenPals.. and I am super excited about this. I have always loved writing letters and feel like I might write some letters to different folks, not just my cross the world penpal.. so you may have one coming to you. I also am getting thank you cards, so I can have the available to write when have a service I appreciated. Regarding gratitude, I did leave an excellent survey for the guys who helped me get my phone working at the Sprint store. But that doesn't count... gotta do a bonafide thank you.

#36. I am also going to do some volunteer work tomorrow and prolly Monday. I am thinking of changing my Volunteer goal to volunteer 101 hours, because that's more manageable and means long term volunteer vs. just 3 saturdays in one month. I think that's more geared toward my goals. That will be modified after this post.

#34. I have written one creative writing prompt, and I think i am going to add more to it. I realize I like writing about myself... and not making up characters.. but I will probably do 10 of each, to expand myself. I make my students do all kinds of writing, so I am going to attempt to do all of the things that I have them too. That will better my craft as an educator too. I shared my one prompt with one person. also.. def in progress, harder than I thought though. I'll continue this.. and wholeheartedly so I won't rush.

I am also thinking about which goal I will coordinate with the New Year. I would love to see what goals my friends have for the future, cause I still have 19 spaces to fill on my list and would love some worthwhile things to accomplish.

Life! :-)

Hoarders and the future of our nation.

I think i have already posted about this... but Hoarders is my show.. It's a profile of people who hoard stuff and thus their homes are unlivable and so are their lives. It's a sensational show, but it always makes me sad because their lives must be so awful when they live like that. I don't know if there is such thing as a happy hoarder. This lady today lost her dentures in the hoard. She also had 2 dead cats in her hoard.. She also had a bathroom full of excrement because her toilet was broken for..... 6 years. I feel bad. Her daughter was crying. Her son was unattached. I realize I know some pseudo hoarders and i just hope their lives don't end up as empty as this lady right here.. cause I love y'all but I am not cleaning up your 8000 pounds of crap. Thank you

Now on to the future of our nation..
according to my students:

The Pilgrims came to the Americas for corn and to celebrate.
The flag has 51 stars because there are 51 states... Panama, Mexico, Canada are all possibilities for the 51st state.. they aren't sure.
50% of my students plan on voting at 18... some are jaded by the process already. One wants to vote for McCain... ha. The others will only vote if they can vote for Obama.. sorry shawties.. no chance.
Benjamin Franklin invented the kite, and was the 18th president

hahahaha.. Hoarders and my children intrigue me for every different, yet similarly tragic reasons. Another great day at work tomorrow.

:-) <----me at 4:10 today. :-( <---me at 6:30am tomorrow when the alarm goes off.
soooo I was going to post tonight but realized I would be whining about the same wack stuff.. waa waa waaa Spidey wants new friends.. waa waa waa.. teaching is hard.. waa waa waa.. I'm not sure if I am reaching my potential.. yadda yadda yadd but who wants to hear that again.. so I figured I'd flip the script for my 2 and a half readers... and do something I haven't done in a while.. make a list of random ish I heart!!!

1. Til Debt Do U$ Part... a show about broke folks getting un-broke!

2. Kelly Clarkson.. that white girl can sang.. goodness gracious. My fave song is "Because of You" and "Breakaway" oooh yeah and "Since You've Been Gone" and "Already Gone!" okay I love them all.. She is what American Idols are supposed to be.. Unlike that damn Rubben Studdard.. He should be sorry for 2004 and 5 and 9. I bet his mama is sorry cause they still broke. Anyway.. K-Clark is da bomb! her videos- http://kellyclarkson.com/index.htm?id=17788&sid=17772

3. Dru Hill.. those boys can SANG! I feel bad though cause I barely know anything about the members of this group.. I mean there is Sisqo of course, then Big Man (who is surprisingly agile as seen in the "Sleeping in My Bed (Remix)" video, Dark skin dude and Nokio (who really did turn it out on the "You are Everything (Remix)" (N-O-K-I-O Baby!!)) and did you know that N.O.K.I.O. stands for Nasty On Keys In Octave?? WHAT? idk either.

Anyway.. they are coming to ATL in some kinda come back tour type Blast from the Past ish.. I'll be there. Until I just noticed the tickets cost 93 dollars.. HAHAHAHAHAHA yeah right.

4. Cashmere Mist by Donna Karan (the Snuggnut fave) and Euphoria by Calvin Klein.. ahh I get compliments whenever I wear them.. soo smellicious!

5. Waffle fries from Chic-Fil-A

6. Advice Columns- I love Ask Amy, The Ethicist and Dear Abby (even though her advice is usually super wack).. but it's interesting to see what random (white) folks think should be done in random situations.. its also hilarious to see what situations cause some folks problems. I mean "my brother acts crazy at every family event, how can I control him without hurting his feelings?... Easy.. forget his feelings.. cuss him out! Naaah,. just kidding.. kinda.

7. I also love Geekologie -my new favorite site!! From dumb stuff I dont have a clue about, to dumber stuff that I love.. this pleases me everyday. I love that it's on my Google Reader.

8. I love Google Reader... I love that I can go one place and see when all of my fave sites are updated... yay Google. even though i do fear how much google knows about me... but lets be real. every one knows everything about everyone these days.

9. I love Niecy Nash.. she's so hood but soo loveable! I would kick it with Niecy any day of the week.. i would roll with her anywhere.. She's like that ignant cousin that you can't get enough of!!

10. I love that everyone cool has a blog these days!!!

11. Ooh i thought of a real number 10.. I clearly did a generic one cause I couldn't think of an idea.. but i LOVE the movie School of Rock.. if you haven't seen it.. I mean who are you.. its on TBS every month like 5 times. I am watching it for the 3rd time this school year.. and if you have seen it and don't like it.. who are you??? this movie is the best. Jack Black is HILARIOUS!! so that's my vote for movies that make ya feel good.. every single time.

The Season of Giving and Thanks

Thank you Pilgrims for killing that fat turkey and starting this holiday. :-) Thank you George Washington for choosing the eagle as our national bird, so we can continue to eat the turkey!


Janet Jackson!!!!

Janet Jackson is performing on the AMAs tonight. If you know me, you know I love Janet Jackson. I love janet more than any other celebrity.
She is the only celebrity I google stalk (well I google stalk Michelle Obama, but its not as ridiculous cause I learn alot by google stalking the first lady.. I mean it's actually current events.. one might even call it cerebral) Anyway.. I google stalk Janet.. before Google.. I bought every single magazine Janet was EVER in..including Architectural Digest, when her Malibu home was shown. I heart Janet for so many reasons.. because she puts on a good show, because her songs vary in their topic, and I'm sure everyone has a favorite Janet Jam.

I think I would probably pass out were I ever to meet Janet Jackson in person, but it's on the top of my wish list. And with all my Janet-palooza of the past few weeks... Beginning with her interview on GMA and ending today with her AMA performance... It made me think about the reason why I became a janet fanatic.

It all started so so many years ago, when I was jammin to Rhythm Nation 1814 and found a song called "Lonely" on the B-side.. (ahh good ole cassettes). Have you ever read or heard anything and wondered how that person had read your thoughts? Been freaked out that someone could know exactly how you feel and put it into words that you have never known how to express.. Well that's what I got when I read the words to "Lonely" in the liner notes (aside.. digital media that makes me miss getting a new album and l
aying on my bed reading all the liner notes and being sad when they didn't have all of the words to the songs).

Anyway.. that moment is when I realized Janet is someone I should mess with... And she continued to crank out hits that made me feel great.. one day I skipped school so I could watch my janet. vhs, and I learned the whole "You Want This" video that day. I am excited for the opening in 13 minutes... and though it sounds super lame... I'm grateful that I found those liner notes, and glad that my obsession made me feel less lonely when I was an adolescent. I think knowing how good it feels to realize you are not alone, and to know that at least someone understands you, is what makes me so good with my students, so open to listen to them when they are upset, and concerned about them when they just don't seem themselves...

Alright enough.. GO JANET!!! 12 mins and counting

When you least suspect it...

Spam saves your life. I got an email with a link that told my future...


YES!!!! A doctoral program in 3 years, fully funded, with no dissertation and at Harvard.. geared towards people who are working towards being leaders in K-12 education.... Was Harvard reading my mind or searching my dreams? Must be. Not this year. Not next.. but I am so excited that I know where I want to go after I leave the classroom... Now, just to get my test scores to the top of the heap and have the data back up everythign I believe in.


New Friends

Sometimes i think it's easier to find a new job, find a new boo and find a new apartment than to find a new friend. Moving from here to there has left me at a dearth of female friends who I really like to hang out with and feel like I can be myself around... So I am trying to make new friends... but how do you do that without being creepy? I mean I wish it was as easy as being a kid when you could say "wanna be my friend?" and that was done.. you didnt have to do anything else... You could sit next to someone at school 3 days in a row and then not do anything else. BAM we are BFFs.

I have always found it difficult to make friends. I dont think I have been in very many situations where I have had to take initiative to make a friend. I just used to go to school and eventually you are friends... or you work at a job in the summer and BOOM we are friends... because in most situations everyone is in same boat and everyone is looking for friends and so you just make them... But now.. when everyone has a friend group already.. how do you make friends, without seeming like a desperate loser? Do you ask someone to go out to eat? cause isnt that like a date? or ask if they'd like to get together sometimes? thats still like a date... or for their number? or do you google stalk them and find a reason to email them so you can build a "casual" friendship.. or at least try.. OR do you jsut be honest and say.. You know I am really looking to make some new friends and was wondering if you'd like to hang out?


I'd love your feedback on this one too! What approach would make you responsive, and not creeped out if someone you met wanted to be your friend?


I went to a workshop yesterday and thought it was stupid.. and a waste of my time. I was sitting there doing the exercises thinking.. what is the point of this? Why is she still talking? Goodness I wish she (the facilitator) would hush! I've been to a lot of workshops and generally love the idea of activities and a group of people coming together to accomplish something... BUT this workshop, which was supposed to be all about combating stereotypes.. really was just about "We all have more in common than we have different" (which I think is a large generalization, which shouldn't be trusted at face value,) AND "Your first impressions aren't correct, you should wait to get to know someone first because"... revisit point number 1.

I know that. I still judge people. I know that just because someone is from another place, or race or religion or whatever than me.. doesn't mean anything really... We could still be best friends.. but I mean it still remains that I look for the black girl to sit next too..I yearn for friends from the North and I'd be hard pressed to go to a school that is not in the top tier. I was looking for the workshop to help me sort through those prejudices or really challenge my innate assertions, because I think that is one of the most important things that educators must do. It's very easy to judge students and parents based on tiny bits of information, but it's important to constantly work past that and to be able to uncover those hidden biases that we don't know we have until we are challenged by someone else with a different point of view.

By the end of the session, i was on my BB checking e-mail and tweeting and being completely rude... but she was droning on and on.. I was underwhelmed and having done some diversity training in the past left a lot of comments on my feedback form.

Sooooo later that day... I was telling my mom about it and kinda whining and complaining and she says in response to something... "that's cause you're arrogant." and I was thinking.. eh she's probably right... but how do I get over that? How do I not roll my eyes internally at people who cant put together a sentence, but are public speakers, or who are educators, but tell incorrect information? How should I feel when my time is being wasted? Or should I change my perspective so that I can find some value in time spent with others??

im ready for your feedback.. my 2 commenters. Thanks! LOL and other lurkers, you know who you are, you can comment too.

I want favored wind.

I am reading a book about writing.. which is really helping me as a writer and a teacher... and I came across this quote by Michel de Montaigne, a 16th century essayist:

"No wind favors him who has no destined port."

I dont have a destined port. I need one. I'll get back to you in December with my port destination. This will help clear up lots of things.

Where is your port? I'm grasping at straws here.

i hate twilight

i hate twilight, new moon, breaking dawn and eclipse. I hate stephenie meyer, edward, bella, jacob, billy, charlie, renee, alice, emmett, seth, embry, esme, carlisle, all of them. leah.. every single character, every actor who plays them. I hate it all, with a passion unmatched. If it would all disappear, I would watch Nancy Grace every night religiously. and i am dead serious. sigh


Today I worked out.. that makes three days this week.. each day I don't want to..I just force myself. .i love it once I start.. but i cant remember that i will love it
when i leave my job and think aaahhh i wanna lay on the couch with a beeer. I hate it. But I do it.. and I end up loving it.

I also hate the feeling of my fat sloshing around when i run.. but the worst part is that I have to keep running to not feel it slosh around on my stomach. womp.

I have also flossed everyday... :-)
Goals for the end of the year.

1. floss EVERY single day
2. Work out 4 days a week
3. finish a boot camp
4. finish 3 more books
5. Lose 10 pounds
6. learn to make 2 new healthy dishes
7. Smile more.

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can!

What if the rest of your life was the best of your life? <---- my motto forever


Saturday is truly my day of rest. I dont do nothing. Sometimes I feel like I should be doing something but hell to the naw.. im gonna catch up on my shows and eat some food and maybe not get out of bed... its loverly to have the leisure to do so... i dont think this post has a point.. but thats what im doing right now, nothing hahaha

book lover

I got a new library card today. I moved, and so now I live in a municipality with a different library system and I am in love with the fact that the country created libraries. SO many books.. so little time.. you can browse and peruse.. you can read and re-read.. and all for free. (until you turn your books in late, which I always do) But whatever.

Just enough for the nerd in me to get a little high. Nothing better than looking through rows and rows of books of all different titles.

I also bought some used book at a book sale at my school this weekend. i wonder who has read them and what they thought.. did they finish it.. did they love it or hate it.. do they feel the same feelings I feel as I read the book...hmmm


Let me tell you why I teach. I teach because there are students whose eyes light up when they see me everyday. they wave at me in the hallway and make it their business to stop by my room just to say hello. Some come and ask me for advice and some of them go out of their way to draw me pictures or talk to me. I am a teacher because for the time I have my students I know that I might be opening and child's eyes to a possibility, or making them feel safe and welcome... and that is priceless.

I know that I can't do everything for every child and for some I'll just be another teacher they will have long forgotten. But I had teachers who changed my life, and who I worked harder than I ever thought i could work in order to make them proud. In my darkest days I had teachers who were patient and kind to me; those were moments that changed my life.. and I teach not hoping for the recognition of those moments, but knowing that each moment has that potential.

SO I show up everyday.. I try to smile everyday... and i am just as thankful to my students as they sometimes are for me..

and also. I love it when they learn something. gosh.. being able to teach someone something new. to see the F student get an A.. to push a child hard and see the results.. makes the bad days worth it and the worse days just par for the course. I teach because its probably my calling.. even when I don't feel like answering it.

Let's stop talking about it...

So, Derrion Albert was like the saddest thing all week. Derrion. Kermit. I'm sure you could add a name of a young black man killed over something dumb. True, Derrion was an honor student and Kermit was a college student, but every death is just as senseless when its over gangs, or drugs, or bullshit or just because. I am committed to stop talking about change from my Ivory Tower. Stop pontificating on the socioeconomic factors and the culture of poverty or the gentrification that may or may not be a factor, and I am committing myself to doing something to stop the bs.

1. I am already a mentor, but I am pledging to take those relationships beyond the superficial and commit more of my time and energy to my mentees.

2. I am going to look into volunteering more at programs that provide a safe haven for kids to stay off the street. Then after I look into it, I am going to commit to it.

What are you gonna do? We can't wait for the government or some city initiative. and where you are, I promise down the street there are kids who wish they could see a way out, and a different choice for their life...

How are you going to Be about it?

Ugh, your baby stinks...

...and he's sticking to the carpet... no seriously.. that dried juice on his face is tangled in the Berber..

So, I work in a middle school, where on any given day a child is hygienically challenged. They stink, they have on dirty clothes, nasty hair, even food all over their faces. Disgusting, I tell you... but I can understand how adjusting to hormones and the subsequent funk can allude a child every once in a while.

But one thing I hate MORE than when tweens are dirty is when babies are disgusting. You know, that baby with hair all over its head that has little bits of fuzz in it, and they have some sort of pudding/applesauce/ice cream/kool-aid ring around their mouth that has more fuzz stuck to it. Then you look and they have on a dingy stretched out onesy, unsnapped at the bottom, with a myriad of stains, detailing their activity for the last day (or two). This is especially reprehensible at public events, in public or when someone is having people over. Yeah, Johnny might be cute, but i am not touching that walking/crawling/slobbering bacteria factory. You must clean your child... not just daily, sometimes its hourly, sometimes minutely... cause babies are gross.. they throw up, spill shit, just plain shit.. throw things all over themselves, wipe all kinds of everything on their bodies and faces and rarely do they stop to take a visit to the faucet to wash up just a bit, or into their room to find the new t-shirt under the bassinet.

I know, I know.. Spidey, you dont have any kids... how dare you speak on how I keep my child??? Well, I don't have a dog, but I definately know that mange and fleas are unacceptable.. get a groomer or don't buy a pet.. clean your kid or close your legs... its just that simple...

So... you can feel free to keep your child as dirty as ever... because 99% of the time, i wont be in their company anyway (remember.. i dont do children under 12)... but if I have to see them at Christmas/Easter/Baby Shower/church/when you bring them up to parent teacher conference night cause you dont have a babysitter.. wipe their damn face before you get out of the car/bus!! I don't want to judge you... but i will :-)

For more information... visit here. :-)

OMG I almost FORGOT!!

Mackenzie Phillips?!?! WTF!!?!?!

White folks definitely took an L on that one too.

Sorry for ya.

I feel sorry for white people.


Yes, I really do. I feel sorry for them because if I was living in some other country I think I would assume that white folks are crazy as hell. The portrayals of them on TV are completely outrageous. Let's think.

Kim on RHOA.
The Real Housewives of NJ
The Crazy Tea Party protestors
The Crazy contractor Orgies in Iraq
Glenn Beck
Rush Limbaugh
SO many insanomaniacs, for right now, I do feel bad for whitey cause they look crazy as hell.

Is it just me? or are white folks getting played in the media? Sucks to be them.


Mufaro's Beautiful's Daughters

When I was a kid, we had nothing but Black books. I didn't think White folks existed except on TV (and at my gifted school, and church, and my mom's job, and downtown...) okay sooo they existed but not in the crib. One of my favorite books was Mufaro's Beautiful Daughters by John Steptoe. The book had girls in it named Nyoka and something else.. but they are different names like mine, they had braids and brown skin and I just loved loved loved the book. AND it had one of those gold seals on the front that lets you know a book is SOOOOO legit.

So I used to peruse this book daily and as I got older prolly a couple times and year and lo and behold, I know the woman who inspired the cover art for the book.

Check it out:

They are totally the same person.
Sooo Linzo. This one is for you :-) Tell me they arent the same... I dare you!
I bet you can't tell which one is the book and which one is my friend????


I worked out for the second day in a row today and its been forever. but I loved it. I realized 30 mins will go by whether i do something with it or not, so I need to just make something happen. I also thoroughly upgraded my ipod.. and made a list of good shit to do.

The day off on Tuesday was exactly what i needed to get my mind back where it needed to me and get my priorities in order.

Have you been working out??

You should be!!!!! Join me in getting athletic.

How Not to Play Yourself: Vol 1.

Hello Gentleman,

This is Spidey's first edition of How Not To Play Yourself. This edition will cover, How Not to Play Yourself...When Trying to Get the Digits.

1. Don't come over and spit game after you have worked up a sweat doing anything: Unless you have a body to die for and your shirt is off, and you don't stink OR smell like sweat, and you have minty fresh breath...or are otherwise Dead Sexy (think Morris Chestnut or Eric Dane).
Reason: We don't wanna touch anyone who is sweaty.. unless well... we got you sweaty.. and, it cannot possibly be your best foot forward if it reeks of b.o.

2. Introduce the single/in a relationship question early. Don't talk for 20 mins asking about our jobs and where we are from, what music we like, what we do during our free time.. and never give us the door to say.. "I got a boo." We don't want you to waste your time, but we also don't wanna seem like a bitch, interrupting your innocent convo by saying "Look, I'm not single."

3. Ask for the digits at a club/restaurant/social gathering that serves drink without offering to get us one. Okay, I feel you.. don't buy the chic a drink just got she got a fatty, but I mean really if you would like to get to know me then you can splurge that 8 bucks. You can.. and if not... then stop reading this blog RIGHT NOW and head directly to www.monster.com or www.careerbuilder.com and get crackin!!

4. Do NOT talk about all of the stuff you do/have/want. We don't care. I don't care about the degree or promotion you got, or the car you drive. Let that stuff speak for itself. I mean, Sir, I have a job too. I work. I went to college. none of this is foreign you need not explain to me the intricate details of what you want to do with your MBA because I can imagine business, and I ain't bit more interested in talking business at a social outing, than I am doing work when I am actually at work. Give it a rest. If we are meant to be then our common interests will come up and we can talk about travel, music, concerts, movies, tv, celebrities, books, hometowns,.. damn anything except you, because being impressed by you, my darling, cannot be all that we have in common. PS: Your car is not super impressive either cause it really makes me think you might be paying a 699 car note with a 24.9 APR in order to floss, instead of doing something productive with your cash.

5. If I give you one word answers, please move on. Please. If you ask my name and I just say my name and don't ask yours.. be rude and walk away cause if i Was interested in you, I would at least want to know what your mama named you. if I dont even want to know that much, I dont want to know ANYTHING else.. and I dont want to waste the energy exercising my cheeks and tongue to talk to you at all. So.. leave me alone and go find one of your boys.

Thanks you.

Stay tuned for How Not to Play Yourself Vol 2.. coming soon.


And Spiderlgs is in bed snoring!! Today we have a day off because it's a floood! So I am mixing the day with productivity and nothing. I was sitting in bed and trying to get some things done and I wonder if you ever have the problem of feeling guilty when you are not being productive even if you need some time to relax... how do you create the balance? Work or play? or both? or neither..

I am doing a little of A and a little of B but i am wondering if I am the only one who struggles with not being productive all the time.


SO I was looking in my senior book and stumbled upon my What's Hot and What's Not list.
Among the hot- Mariah Carey. Among the not- "Movable butterfly clips" <-remember that shit.? womp So I figure I would refresh it for 2k9. off the top of my head


Tyra Bank's Real Hair
Janet Jackson performing "Scream"
Tina Landon dancing with Janet
ANTM for Short Girls (even though its without me!)
Nigel Barker (HOT)
Esquire Mag
"I'm not gonna write you a love song" <-i love it
crushed ice
dress down fridays.
Whitney is Back

So you think you can dance
rainy days everyday in ATL!!
LOL Smiley Face
That song that goes.."Forget about your boyfriend and meet me at the hotel room" womp
Mariah carey
Nancy Grace
Prank Phone Calls on Rickey Smiley
ashy ankles
Celebrity Blogs

anything you wanna add?



1. Why was there a chic in the club with braids ala Brandy ? She inspired us to bust into the dance from "I Wanna be Down" right next to her.

2. Why would anyone have blue and purple paint with glitter in circular designs around her eyes?

3. Why would she then decide to accompany that with blue and purple inch long eyelashes?

4. Why do SGRhos think that anyone is hating on them? I mean fact is fact, and aint nothing wrong with stating that.

5. Why do people still smoke and then get offended when you give them the side eye? IF someone pointed their tailpipe in my face and hit the exhaust, I'd kick their ass. You sir, with the cigarette, are getting off easy.

6. Why is Jadakiss as hard as it gets?

7. Why is it still appropriate for anyone to have for real bonafide designed cornrows after the age of 7?

8. Why do people get airbrushed RIP t-shirts/hoodies/sweatsuits/caps? you bet not ever put my airbrushed mug on anything!

9. Why is Black TV so HORRIBLE? I mean come on.. It's awful. After Living Single we aint got much else to watch.

Go Sit Down

And because the blog has been a big bummer for two posts in a row.. here is a list of dumb shit I find funny.

1. The Real Housewives of Atlanta go to restaurants I go to. HAHA on a teacher's salary I can afford to go to Twist and FAB. They don't do anything super cool. They live in houses that I could lease/rent in this economy. HA! Only one I think who is prolly really doing it for real.. is Kandi cause let's face it royalties are for real.

2. That chic on So You Think You Can Dance is so annoying.. always hollering and shit. Go Sit Down!

3. My students don't know who said "Give me liberty or give me death" They also write on the wrong side of the paper. Go Sit Down

4. I wrote "Happy Birthday Beyonce" on the board today and in one of my classes the kids got up and did Single Ladies and Uh oh uh oh uh oh oh no no HAHAA Hi-larious!

5. I knew Paul Abdula was out of there! :-) I called it on the blog. Okay I said she should be fired. but ya know. same!

6. I'm gonna join Twitter cause Janet Jackson is on there.

7. That long stroke is no joke. Thank your local pipe layer!


Maia Campbell and Mental Health in the Black Community

There is a video on the internet of Maia Campbell from In The House. i only saw a chunk of it, because I don't like watching people be exploited. I don't think it's funny or fair. And then I found out that she is schizophrenic or bipolar or just one of the two. Either way, she is tortured daily and does not take medicine what that will help her because of their side effects.

So I won't laugh at her for acting crazy or being crazy and I won't call her crazy because its about time that in the Black community we stop either shutting our eyes to mental health issues or laughing at them as a way of numbing our own discomfort with the issue.

So now, instead of talking about it, I'll be about it. All of my life I have been tortured with depression and anxiety and suicidal thoughts. I am lucky enough to never have taken any drastic or desperate actions, but the pain has been the same. I understand why people self mutilate, I understand why people are so tortured that they take their lives. In the past, I have laid in bed all day and all night, unable to get work done. I have cried myself to sleep, I have been so anxious and wound up that I couldn't sleep for more than an hour at a time. The worst part was that I never understood it. I dont have a fucked up life. I have a great family, a good life, a good brain, good friends, my health.. I never understood why I was unhappy. But chronic depression is something that you don't choose. It's a card you are dealt.

I am lucky to have a doctor I trust. With her help, I am on medication that has taken most of the cloud away. It allows me to wake up in the morning and get up without 20 mins of telling myself I can do it and today is going to be a good day. It has taken away the voice that tells me that leaving this world might be a better option. It has allowed me to cope in a way I never thought I would.

There is help out there, and people on medicine or people in therapy aren't weak. We aren't crazy we are just like you. We have a disease, and luckily we also have a cure. If you need help go get it. If you think a friend woudl benefit from talking to someone tell him/her to take advantage of that health insurance and find a good counselor. Life can be different. I am proof.

From Introspection to Exorcism

It is not very often that I get on here and talk about real life, beyond bullshit observations and funny rants.. but for some reason I feel the need to just lay it on the line right now. Dangerous to do this? probably. I'm not sure who reads this.. and I'm not trying to hurt any feelings, or front publicly on anyone. And if you feel I am doing that to you, my bad.. but don't say shit to me cause for real... I'll pretend like a care, but know that for real for real, I don't.

One of my favorite teachers was Ms. Leddy. She was so wonderful to me. In my five year old mind, I wondered why she didn't wear pants, and dreamed about having a mother, or growing up into a woman with a voice as soft as angelic as hers. She didn't even yell when Colin Gleason fell asleep in class one day. He slept so hard the entire side of his face was red and he had a crease on his cheek from the folder. She also had a sign on her desk told us to always follow the Golden Rule.. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

I had heard the Golden Rule before kindergarten of course, but not growing up the Christian church, it had no basis besides being the guiding rule of the classroom. Treat others like you want to be treated. It seemed pretty solid. Don't take someone else's pencil without asking, cause you don't want anyone to do that to you. Say thank you, because you want other people to say it to you. Be helpful, because you want others to help you. It worked in our classroom... and as I grow up, I realize it is a guiding rule in my life.

The Golden Rule is important in actions of course. As I go through the day, I open doors for people and say please and thank you even when talking to my underlings. I don't argue or curse (at people), or yell or fuss. I try to be the person who I would like to meet. And this has been good for me. My kindness has meant people are kind to me. My friendliness (shut up) has made me some acquaintances and some friends. I have developed a good reputation at home, at work and in life.

The Golden Rule has also become the mandate of my relationships.
And to that end I am fortunate. I have so many friends in my life who follow this rule. Who give of themselves freely, and who simply ask for the same in return. I love that I can call on them and they will call on me. I love that I can be there for them and know that it is not in vain. That no energy or time spent is wasted. The Golden Rule is also called the Ethic of Reciprocity... and to my 27 year old self reciprocity is a non negotiable.

it is not for me to criticize or castigate folks who don't feel the same way. It is not for me to shame or bad mouth anyone who lives by a different creed. The only recourse I have is to choose to accept their differing standard... or not. And I choose not. I choose not to be surrounded by anyone who will only have me around in times of convenience. I will not be the go to, when times are rough, and when times are good.... poof. I am choosing to dedicate my energy to those people who reciprocate efforts and energy. I am choosing to use my energy to build relationships with new people who feel the same way. And so that means there will be casualties, though there is nothing casual about it. There is mourning and grief. There is heartache and pain, but the choice is to lose them or me. and I will not lose me. I cannot.

So cheers to you, my nearest and dearest. Here is to nights well spent, and priceless conversation. Inside jokes and returned favors. I love you. I really do.


One of my friends says she doesnt watch much tv... like three shows a week WTF. Isn't it sad that if I watched that little tv I dont know what else I would do to fill the time. I mean clearly I look around and there is tons to be done.. talking to friends,reading books, cleaning the house. laundry, lesson planning, working on stuff, writing, .. but all of that stuff requires energy.. physical or mental or both.

This is when i realize I am a lazy bum. I wanna veg out in front of tv because its a cheap thrill. But with all this brain power.. I should be getting the pay off of an expensive trip.. if TV meth, I should be getting that premium cocaine high.. cause well why the hell not..

How do I combat my laziness and get it crackin. Do I start with just turning off the tv and seeing what happens??? But how will i fight my curiosity of what's going on on RHOA, Dark Blue, Burn Notice, Intervention, Hoarders, Without a Trace, Law and Order (all), America's Best Dance Crew etc etc etc...

I need help :-(

Natural Woman

I wont say I'm going natural, but I decided to not get a touch up cause I dont feel like the burn. Part of this is very painstaking. It has been painful not being able to run my fingers through my ever so sleek tendrils.. but refreshing to be able to wash my hair whenever I want to. I have been trying some different looks.. some have been hit and some have definitely been a miss... and I'm trying to not keep my self esteem so wrapped into my hair (even though the prospect of having wonderfully fabulously thick and curly hair is a motivator) .

I have gotten some strange looks, especially working in a school... especially from my 13 year old students who dont know anything about anything... but I also know that some of my days have been worse hair days than others. I am just trying to surrender myself to the control that comes with hair that isnt going to lay perfectly straight when I shake out my wrap every morning. My b-day is thursday and it is SO tempting to get a fresh touch up.. but I also wanna make 27 a year of new things and new challenges for myself.. so we shall see...

This transition will be interesting. I'll keep you posted

Ghetto Ish I can't get down with

Now you know I love tomfoolery, and I love participating in ignorance. But there is just some ISH i cannot f with..

Tiny and Toya
Anything having to do with Keyshia Cole's ignant ass mama Frankie
Snap Music
BET (all)
Al Sharpton

Barack Obama in the white house and these wack niggas keeping us in the outhouse. Blows!

OMG- Michael Jackson is really dead

Soooo Tonight is the night that I realized that MJ was really dead. Yeah yeah.. I know. When he died I was out of town tending to MOH responsibilities and couldnt really marinate.. And I was thinking I mean.. MJ has kinda been MIA for the past 10 years anyway.. sooooooo yeah... And I mean he wore a surgical mask for much of the 90s, so is this really the biggest shock ever?


The Below is footage from Moonwalker.. my favorite ever....

I remembered how much I LOVE Michael. I remember playing the records on our record players of the Jacksons. I remember listening to History with my homie B. We went and got it the day it came out. We learned the Scream dance (I was janet) so we could do it ina summer camp talent show. OMG No more Michael???? WTF... I remember when I STOLE my mom's CD for the Greatest Hits of the Jackson 5. I remember jammin to Butterflies in College with my roommate.. I remember when Sony called me to tell me they would sue me if I didnt delete Invincible from my computer at college. My mom had already bought me the CD anyway (she just handnt sent it yet!!!!) Sooooo I love Michael. I hope his kids are okay. I wish the family my best. It's really sad, cause rarely does one person bring such a gift to the world. Hell I just changed the Snuggnut's ringtone to a perfect MJ song. Life is good.. Be blessed.. and Volunteer.. Michael Jackson would want you to.

Reaching Out

In the past 3 months, I have found out that three people who are incredibly close to me were sexually abused growing up. I just want to say it to anyone who may read my blog, who may have gone through the same thing in any way shape or form that it is not your fault. You did not do anything wrong. You are so wonderful, worthy and valuable. You are loved. You are so strong for being a survivor. I support you with every fiber of my being. I do not blame you for anything that has been done to you. I am in your corner. You deserve happiness and joy and you are included in my daily prayers. I love you. If there is anything I can do to support you I will.

you can email me at livingingrey@gmail.com if you need anything. it'll be anonymous.

I just wanted to take a moment and reach out because I can't imagine what you may be going through, and I want anyone and everyone to know that you are not alone.

Birthday Present!!

SO my Birthday is in a couple of months, but there is NO reason to wait until then to discuss birthday goodness. So here is my birthday Present!

Old School LA Gears.
Now I haven't gotten into this whole 80s style that's been sweeping the nation, but I LOVED my L.A. Gears, just like I loved my Grant Hills. THis is when I was into shoes and what they could do for me. I want these below. I wish there were some Hot Pink ones, and I would definitely be all over them. But these will do! Peep the OFFICIAL LA GEAR TAG!!! YES!!

In honor of the NBA Finals

I am not a sports fan. Fair weather fan at best, or a fan of the cutest players. So, given the stock in this Finals, frankly I don't give a damn, cause really, when it's all said and done, Spidey gets no ring, no bonus, no trophy, no bubbly, no hat and t-shirt, no nothing no matter who wins.

But in honor of the Basketball Fever that is shaking the nation, I would like to pay Homage to the men who actually made me watch the game. Ahhh you are thinking MJ, yeah I am a Chicago fan.. but nahhh.. Here is my NBA Honor Roll..

#5 Muggsy Bogues

He's tiny!! And in the NBA!! G0 Muggsy!!
I think he's the same height as me, just with a million times the skill.

#4 Chris Webber

Why? He's fine. Look at him. :-) eh, he did Tyra wrong, but he's fine! I still mad I skipped an invitation to a party where he showed up... Womp!

#4 Grant Hill

Who didn't have a pair of Grant Hills back in the day? When Fila was still hot and Grant Hill was the hottest thing out. So cute and boy next door.. Ooh I loved me some Grant Hill! And He was Rookie of the Year, along with that other guy who looks too funny to make it on the list. Go Grant. And now he is still super handsome and married to one of the most underrated singers out there, Tamia. (Listen to Stranger in My House and I dare ya to disagree.

#2 Vince Carter

Just look at him... YES!!! And he can dunk!!

#1 Anfernee "Penny" Hardaway

Gasp and Swooon.. Could I have been more in love with Penny Hardaway as a kid? I do not think so. I had both color jerseys in two different sizes so that I could be girly and cute or baggy and sporty with it. I had pictures of him up on the wall and still am jealous of the poster Enchanted had on her door. It was lifesize. All 6 feet 7 inches of that man on the wall!! He had the little Penny commercials, and I even saw wack ass Blue Chips more times than I would like to admit staring at him. ooooooh Weee.. Where is my boo now anyway?? Where for art thou Penny?

Censorship: Why we need it.

Today I was watching the MTV Movie Awards, just for a second, and the host was that guy from SNL who does the funny skits. Jizz in my Pants. Dick in a Box.. hilarious stuff.

So they decide to use music stars (the station is called Music Television, despite the usual lack of it on the channel), to come out sing a wonderful
medley of these two tunes. I'm already cracking up.

So, Leann Rhimes and Chris Isaac sing a duet of Jizz in my Pants, in a wonderfully dramatic style. I'm super cracking up. Hilarious, so gross, but hilarious. Then they introduce... Forest "Cockeye" Whitaker to sing Dick in a Box. His not-so-great singing of Dick in a Box as a ballad was hilarious too. Even better, they aren' t even bleeping the word DICK. hahaha it.. It's my Dick in a Box!

YES! I love it when the channels get all racy, late at night when grown folks are watching..

Boom. Bubble burst, and Spidey is disgusted because.. guess what.. its only 9:45 am. Children young and old are sitting in their living rooms, still in love with the newness of summer vacation and now they will be humming, or worse, singing Dick in a Box throughout their homes, or doing their chores. And once you are past the age of 8, I dont think its any mystery what "dick" is slang for.

Now, I realize I am getting old.. I for one didnt really care when Janet booby was out on CBS... and I am completely against burning books and that sorta thing, I think that everyone should have a chance to make the music, movies, cartoons, books, that they want... but shouldn't there be guidelines on when it can be broadcast of the waves? Or is that all parental responsibility?

Your thoughts?? Yay or nay to TV censorship?

And is anyone else perturbed by "I wish I could **** every girl in the world" being on the radio? I am. Maybe I already blogged about it, if so. Consider me seconding myself!

Current (and not so current) Events

So I figure I would give my thoughts on some recent and not so recent ongoings in this country.

1. Chris Brown and Rihanna: I'm so sick of women beating women and women saying things like "but you know island women are crazy," "you don't know what she did," "women do be doing dumb shit sometimes, you never know" I mean I'm crazy too... and I have little cousins who are crazy, and even if they ran off at the mouth at me and hit me.. I would be dead wrong to make those kinds of marks on their faces. Based on brute strength alone, a man need not for any reason or with any exception attack anyone like that. I hope his crazy ass is in counseling.. And I hope that Rihanna is getting the help she needs to avoid battered women's syndrome.

2. Supreme Court nomination. Go Obama! Sotomayor is the bomb. Well I don't know her, but I can imagine that given her experiences in life and on the bench she will be a breath of fresh air. No more Alito or Scalia or Thomas drowning out sense and liberty and civil rights. I don't want a strict constructionist of the constutition. I want someone who understands that with changing times, we must look into the spirit of the law understanding that there are so many issues that we face nowadays that the Founding Fathers could not have imagined in 1787. Also, someone who recognizes that the fact that the laws of this country was created by all white men who promulgated egregious institutions like slavery, means that we have a lot of leeway in making sure that we are all ready free.

3. Tot Mom; Over it

4. Economy: Damn! Damn! Damn! I feel like Florida when she got that telegram. what the hell is going on. I am finally at the point of understanding the root causes of the recession and the credit crisis and all of that. What I don't understand is where my damn tax dollars are going if GM is still laying off EVERYBODY and dealerships are closing, and credit card companies are hiking up rates and I really just want to shake every person in a corner office and tell them.. You, sir/madam, suck! You suck because you have pillaged the people of the United States with your unfair practices and now you are robbing us through stimulus funds. It's like the guy who comes to fix your plumbing, gives a low estimate, breaks more shit instead of fixing the problem and THEN makes you pay more to fix the stuff he broke. Then you realize he was damn liar and nothing was broken in the first place till he came into your crib, and you could have unclogged the drain with a plunger. Damn.

5. Grade Inflation is up and actual knowledge is going down! Congrats No Child Left Behind, but in other news my principal said that our test scores were pretty good. Between 89=91 per cent of students in 7th grade passed the CRCT YES! These are preliminary scores, but I can't wait to break it down for myself.

6. I am not one for censorship, but I do think it is problematic that musicians are not forced to create CLEAN versions of their songs.. I mean, I don't want my child listening to an edited version of these nasty ass songs. Let's take Weezy.. He is a huge problem.. but the idea that you would release a song with the hook "I wish I could fuck every girl in the world" and your solution to clean it up for the radio is to say "I wish I could ..... every girl in the world" That is simply unacceptable. Because each generation IS getting dumber and dumber, but you don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what NASTY word goes in there and what that means.
Ick. clearly i am getting old! We need more euphemism in our songs though.

7. American Idol blows. I'm glad Adam didn't win.

8. Lots of blogs suck. ha.

Adult Security Blanket

This weekend I was kicking it HARD throughout the city. Open Bar parties, wild and crazy BBQs, plays and such, flows at friend's houses. I was out and about for real for real and one thing I noticed in EVERY arena was adults using their cell phones as a security blanket. Sure we all know the discomfort of standing alone at the bar or in a party when your friends are off elsewhere... sure we know that your phone has bells and whistles that have effectively antiquated boredom.. but you look like a douche, if everytime you walk from one place to another you are clicking, scrolling, touch screening something on your cell phone. You are not Jay-Z or Obama, Chertoff or Angelina Jolie. You and I both know that no one is reaching out to you THAT much that you need to be on your phone every free moment.

You are saying.. But Spidey, I have text messages, e-mails and missed calls that I have to stay on top of.. Umm NO. cause you and I both know half the time you check your e-mail its a mass message from Footlocker, the Obama campaign, Bath and Body Works or some party promoter who you are archiving anyway.. Or maybe you are updating your status message or tweeting, but that's some bs too cause you could just as easily make that comment to the real live person who is standing next to you, and get a response that is not electronic, full of actual intonation, inflection and facial expressions. You could make a real human connection.

This has just become my recent annoyance, because several times this weekend, I have looked around to talk to my friends and acquaintances and ALL of them are on their phone.. screw me for thinking that we would just talk to one another since we ventured outside of the house to go somewhere where people will be. Soooo the next time you automatically reach for your phone, think.. is anyone REALLy calling me, or am I just trying to stave off boredom.. if so be bored.. and then cure that boredom by talking to the person next to you. It wont kill ya.

I Hate Nancy Grace

Nancy Grace needs to get of the Tot Mom's jock. I DARE You to turn on Nancy Grace and not find out some completely irrelevant and unimportant news about the tot mom. It will say something like "BREAKING NEWS: TOT MOM TALKS TO MAN 3 DAYS BEFORE CAYLEE GOES MISSING!!"

And what does that have to do with the price of tea in china?? Nothing.. and it has EVEN less to do with Caylee's murder or Casey's guilt. Nancy then has on 4 or 5 people.. DUMBASSes including Gloria Allred and they speculate on who this man could be: a man Casey was dating, Caylee's father (Who is Caylee's father BTW???) Somehow I don't think that a black mother with an illegitimate child who was missing would still be on ANYONE's Radar, missing, murdered or otherwise..

Pardon the aside.. they then show picture from Casey's FB and they show her drunk somewhere or in Target using a stolen credit card..
Then Nancy Grace wraps the show with pictures of her twins.. who will walk across the graduation stage when she is like 87...

Nancy Grace is NUTS!!!! :-)

Ignorant Negroes: You MUST be stopped.

This is a new category... Of course I can name 10000s who need to be stopped, but this Inaugural Post is dedicated to all the Negros who are acting a fool cause the President is Black.

Okay, so the President is Black. I don't have a Lambo, But I'm feeling the vibe. I LOVE watching press conferences and seeing him up there, in all his professional style. I love Michelle doing her thing in the garden and at DC schools. I love seeing the First family on Ebony and Essence. There is almost nothing to NOT love about the President being Black...

Except ignorant ass Black people who continually disrespect the president in ways we would NEVER accept from white folks (like that damn "Barack the Magic Negro") So people need to take this opportunity to step their game up.. instead of mixing our president up with liquor and sex...

Ignorant Negro #1: P. Diddy

Crime: Two words, Ciroc Obama!!

You must be kidding me... did you really just comingle my warm and fuzzy feelings for my Black President with your vodka brand??? Hell to the naw. And it came out of nowhere.. Screaming it out on a damn Day 26 song for goodness sakes. Not even a hit.. some dumb shit by a Band that still hasn't quite Made it! You's a nigga for that one P. that's some serious Bitchassness if you ask me. His name does NOT belong on your labels, like it shouldn't be on a gas station or chicken palace.

And on to Public Enemy Number 1:

Juelz Santana

Who? right, yeah i forgot he existed too...Anyway...

Crime: "Treat you like the first lady, put my Barack in ya."

Come on Juelz, you were already a damn lame. You sucked before you came at the president like that.. so why don't you go ahead and sit your bandana wearing ass down... and you can say that shit in the booth, but you know DAMN well that you wouldn't say that shit to his face, and that is why you, Juelz, suck.

So, P and Jue, you must stop mixing up disrespect and giving props, cause they are not one n the same. Just like "baddest bitch," and "wifey" aren't compliments...Consider yourselves warned.

An Open Letter to

Mr. Michael Baisden,

I abhor you. Why? Because while listening to you on the radio, you come off as a regular guy with some sense. You seem to be a Black Disc Jockey that spares us the ignorance of Steve Harvey or Ricky Smiley. You are not a comedian, you don't bore us with your unfunny nonsense, or offend me with crude jokes and gutter prank calls. But as I have continued to listen to your show, I have become disgusted because you have managed to throw in offensive commentary that makes no sense and actually furthers the dumbness in our community today. The worst part being, many people accept you as an expert opinion, giving more validity to your bs.

I listened to your show one day about paternity issues. Okay, interesting. I decided to tune in. Issues of paternity are definitely topical and surely affect many people in our lives. So you began talking about women who don't tell me the truth about who the father of their child is or could be. I totally agree Mike, those chics are grimy. I mean for real, in that small window of conception you know the paternity possibilities; fess up.

However, you took a completely wrong turn when you started dissing brothers who are taking care of children that aren't theirs. You said they are fools and need to stop taking care of children that aren't their biological children. You entertained and encouraged dumb women who called in upset at their sons/cousins/brothers/etc who are currently taking care of children that do not look like them, or who continue to support children who have been proven to not be their biological children. You even went so far as to say that God makes the baby look like the father, so that the man can know who his child is. After all the mother already knows that it's her child, so if the baby doesn't look like the man he needs to stop being dumb and get that paternity test.

To quote Dr. Huxtable- "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

Have you ever seen Kim Fields and her mother? Michelle Obama and her mom?? Both women look just like their mothers and I don't think we need to question the intelligence of their fathers raising them or the validity of their paternity. Children in the same family look like one or both parents or a mixture of the two. Even Maury discredits that damn "He don't look like me" bullshit. Gimme a break.

But even still. Even if a man finds out a child is not his, what should he do? BOUNCE? Should he leave the child out there to grow up as another fatherless black kid? The Black family has been fluid since slavery, hell I got play cousins and play sisters and we all know who we biologically belong to. It is a disgrace whenever we try to shame anybody out of taking care a child, because it don't look like him. How is that the right thing to do? How does that make you a fool to take care of a child who needs a father? How can we support women who are mad at their husbands for continuing to take care of kids that they were once a father figure to, if not their biological fathers. Your comments supported the further disintegration of the black family and for that you get a big fat WOMP. Men cry in the dark, but so do kids who are left by their fathers. They also fight in school, and find themselves locked up because they wonder what is so wrong with them that their daddy doesn't want them. And if a man is willing to step in to heal that wound and support that child, how could that possibly be negative or a dummy move on his part. You suck.

That was strike one. Strike 2 and 3 came when I read this post:

Michael Baisden is a Misogynist Pig

I don't even need to comment. I wish a muthafucker would say just lay there. You don't have a say cause I want some right now. And you don't even believe that because if your daughter was that wife... you wouldn't insist she lay down and take it. Or Mr. Baisden maybe you are that much of a d-bag.

So Mr. Baisden, I wish you well, but I can no longer listen to your show. I can no longer choose to support someone who supports ideals that go against all of the things that I stand for and who advocates for nonsense that hurts others, be it women or children. I hope you see the light, I hope you have a change of heart. Until then, you, along with R. Kelly and Chris Brown have lost a listener because oppression is oppression and I am against it.



A Drink is Not a Contract

I am just putting it here.. When I am a super dope celeb and they ask me to write my book. It'll be called "A Drink is Not a Contract and other shit you should already know."

Steal it and I will sue you. It's timestamped on this here blog.

R.I.P. Bea

Golden Girls was one of my absolute favorite shows growing up. It used to come on on the BANGING Saturday night line up with Nurses and Empty Nest. Hell I was 9, I didn't have anything to do on a Saturday but watch TV. So my heart was saddened when I heard that Bea Arthur passed away. She was a good actress, and a star of my childhood. Heck, I was watching the Golden Girls instead of the news on 9/11 , which is why I had NO idea what was going on. (Lifetime doesn't cut in for breaking news.) So I will be completely cliche and say, "Bea, Thank you for being a friend; we will miss you."

R.I.P. Bea Arthur
May 13, 1922 – April 25, 2009

Thank you for being a friend
Traveled down the road and back again
your heart is true you're a pal and a confidant

I'm not ashamed to say
I hope it always will stay this way
My hat is off, won't you stand up and take a bow

And if you threw a party
Invited everyone you knew
You would see, the biggest gift would be for me
and the card attached would say,
Thank you for being a friend

Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend
Thank you for being a friend

Blame it on the alcohol

Does T-Pain really say.. "Take a shot of Nuvo?" What kinda punk ass drink is that? I would definitely clown a negro taking a shot of pink Nuvo. LOL Henn? VSOP? Remy? Shit Rum and Coke? Damn.. what do you chase a shot of Nuvo with? An Apple martini? hahaha.

T-Pain's a d bag.

Speaking of Os

Soooo B. Enchanted would rather me not give her daughter a vibrator, but how many of you have one? Does your partner know? would your partner know... Or do you just feel like you'll go sans orgasm until you have a boo? or work it out without assistance?

Things I did.

I heart dumb lists like this.. all the stuff I have done is in red.

1. Started your own blog

2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyworld/Disneyland

8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you were not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted

48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been laid off from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Kissed a stranger at midnight on New Year’s Eve
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life (Does NOT killing a kid count???)
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

41 of 99 aint bad, cause some of this dumb ish I never wanna do.. like kill an animal, bungee jump, sky dive, rock climb, break a bone, motorcycle.. etc i'm not the thrill seeking type.. ooh schnap, make that 42 of 99.. I did break a bone in 7th grade playing softball with wack ass Mr. Bryant. I told my mom it was broken and she didnt believe me, assuming i was a hypocondriac, now it's crooked for life.

I do wanna see all the stuff and go all of the places. I don't think there is anywhere I wouldn't travel (in times of peace, cause I'd love to go to Africa, but Darfur sure aint on the list. :-))

Any numbers surprise you??

It started with the Huxtables

So the Cosby Show was supposed to be the show that showed us Negros as the professionals we are. No more "scrappin and surviving" like Good Times.. We made it. Claire was a lawyer, and Cliff a successful obstetrician. Yes!! Ivy League educated Sandra married Elvin, a Princeton Grad. Denise didn't finish Hillman but then went on to marry Martin, an officer in the Navy.

Alright, we know Sandra and Elvin decided to give up their professional dreams and open the Wilderness store, but that is entreprenuership at its finest. Of course, we also remember that Denise was finding herself and she skipped from job to job, never quite reaching Claire status, but as an officer's wife she was good. All in all, the black family was continuing, destined to maintain high socio-economic bliss.

As little black girls, the Cosby's gave us hope. We saw that this could be our story. I was no longer Penny, cowering under the threat of an iron, or Florida drivin that bus and still never having a dollar at the end of the week. Y

Then we hit Vanessa, who began dating Robert, and moved on to Dabnis. So Dabnis Brickey wasn't the degreed type, but he was a supervisor at the University and was able to set up a home for Vanessa's idealistic ass. Good job.

The Cosby Show was a glimpse into the middle class world of Af-Ams, showing all we could be, as we were striving to be seen as equals and were going to college in record numbers. They were the dream we were hoping to attain, and my friends and I did. All of my friends from high school have degrees; we work in all different industries, and I don't think any of us live with our parents or have outside kids. We are doing it big and living up to our parents' dreams of success.

But as educated black women, there is still a piece that many are missing and that is a man on our level. Claire Huxtable did it, Sandra did it, hell Denise and Vanessa married up. So we thought that we could and would do that too. We thought hell yeah, I'm going to go to Hillman and find a Dwayne (if you like the nerdy type) or a Ron (if you like the doing too much lame negro), get married, buy the house and pop out them babies.

But that dream is turning out to be a fantasy. Because my homies are dating trifling negroes who ain't doing much, and are shocked that we, as adults, read. The shame isn't that it's happening, the shame is that the signs were there in our Cosby Show fantasy, but we missed em. We didn't pay enough attention to the reality of Rudy and Stanley.

Rudith Huxtable is the daughter of professionals. She went to school and assumingly got good grades, because it was never an issue on the show. But as we reach the final seasons who is Rudy mated with? Stanley.

Stanley's ass didn't even know to read when Rudy starting liking him. She overlooked Bud, and went for that sexy man candy played by Merlin Santana (R.I.P.) She was never bothered that he couldn't sound out "Continental Congress" when working in the after school program with Theo. And Theo didn't even look out for his little sis, didn't say, "You know he is 14 and can't read. you might want to think about that, Rudy."

No, Stanley was at the house, kicking it with the fam. Cliff, who had his reservations about allll the men that his daughter brought home easily accepted Stanley into the fold. Despite him being 9 years behind Rudy on the learning to read curve.

So, we got the message too late. Instead of picking it up then, when it is staring us in front of our faces, we held on the pipe dream... and its only now we see that the majority of mates suited for us are illiterates alll growed up. So we better get with the program and accept that our future is gonna look a little less like Cliff and Claire and a lot more like Rudy and Stanley. And that's okay because there are GED classes available at all junior colleges. Stick with him through that and you are gold. after all.. it is our high standards that send even the Stanley's running to white women... they know how to stand by they man.