Did you think that I forgot???

Call on Me- Janet Jackson and Nelly
Is this my fave song...no... But I think it's kinda hot. Go Janet.
I am sick of people hating on Janet like she aint the shit... I can't wait for the tour... check it out.

Do This

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction.

You Fakin Like Turkey Bacon

I found myself in love with my friends this weekend. No homo Karyn. I found myself in love with the beautiful black women that my friends have grown into. Like, we are sitting there in a room chillin with beautiful black ladies, from caramel to dark chocolate, from dreads to relaxers, remembering that we knew each other back when we used to eat bowls of fries in Red House and think that Ray J and Immature were the finest things walking. I was thinking about how far we have come.. and the best part is that we have come this far together. We tripped out all weekend with one another picking up the pieces like we just came from the Pulaski Day long weekend.. knowing that we got degrees, some of us trying to get that PhD but for real.. we will do the Tootsie Roll at the white club and be as familiar with the words of the 69 boys as we are with each other.

I love my friends. Why? Because I know I can call them and get things handled. I know I can put my credit card up and not worry about having to take niggas to Judge Mathis to pay for the room. because I know that I can watch my girl get married, standing in her all white.. and not be jealous cause I don't have a man, but be so happy that she has found her soulmate and she is beginning a beautiful journey. That we can pray in the back of the church and find ourselves crying and aint nothing happened yet because we know how special the love is that God has made for us. The sisterhood between black women is real. And I mean the sisterhood that exists where you know she won't steal your man or not put in money for the tax when you go out to eat. The sisterhood where you can humbly say... girl I'm struggling... and know that being vulnerable right now is only making you both stronger.

I know I must be blessed because I have the blessing of knowing so many fabulous women who enlighten me, challenge me, love me.. and pick me up from the ground when i fall down in my dress after fighting a 10 year old for the bouquet at the wedding... and that our sisterhood is so strong that they told me I was bogus for stealing flowers from a kid.

But that is not all I need. I wish I could say that this sisterhood makes me complete and that I am a strong black woman who has it all under control. True, I got a car, job, apartment, good credit, but that's not all I need. And yes I do need a man. I don't need a man like I need my vital organs, but I need him like I need my glasses. Yeah i can see without them.. but everything is just a little bit brighter and clearer when I have them. And I love Black men! I do. I do. And I'm looking for that unconditional potential cause playing around aint what I'm on anymore. And I just wish that some dudes out here were not faking like turkey bacon... Not saying that if we go out on a date I expect you to stick through to the long haul.. I mean if things don't work out, they don't work out. I just want dudes to be honorable. I don't want a dude to sell me dreams about ooh baby.. you are wifey material. You make me feel so good.. ooh I like you. Oh I wanna see you. Call me when you get in.. call me when you wake up.. When you gone be back in town? What you doing tonight.. You got company? Who? Oh it's like that... and then fake out and not return phone calls.. Is that asking too much?

Aight so you may decide I am not the one for you.. and that is fine, I'll be alright.. it aint like we got kids, and a mortgage together, but you could return a phone call.. Like I was just calling to say whats up.. not to ask for your hand in marriage darling. It really isnt that serious.. but you don't have to game me like I'm trying to sell you something.

You know how when you go in the store and the sales person takes time showing all the phones, their different features, how they are better than the other phone you have.. why you need to switch.. even looks up the deal that they can give you with the special manager's discount AND they will get the coupon from the paper for you and act like its not expired... but sometime in the middle of the sales pitch you think like.. you know what.. I don't need a new phone.. the rent is due and my homies are coming in town, I should just keep my money in my pocket for that... BUT you don't tell the salesperson that... nooo you continue to act interested.. asking a question here and there... and then you make up some reason to leave but promise to come back and get it... but you never return. I guess cause you don't wanna hurt their feelings and you feel bad for wasting their time... we've all been there... But the real deal is.. I'm not some random person in the store..never to be seen again.. Like there must be something in me that made us cool to begin with... and just honor that when you have your change of heart and be real. Stop faking. Stop gaming. Cause I'm not with it in 2006. And I hope i don't sound bitter because I am not. I love black men. Like I am in love with black men.. I am in love with black families and black children... and I know it all comes with sacrifice.. but I am a good woman and I deserve a good man who can see that some of his niggerish ways don't honor him or his intentions... But in the words of Joan Morgan... I am not dating a man's potential. I know a man will have flaws and I know that part of any good relationship is growing together. I also know that people who want to talk to you call. People who want to see you make plans before they get bored. and that nothing can be built on complacency.

I am strong enough to be vulnerable. I am ready to fall in love. I am open to that scared feeling when you aren't sure but are willing to risk because you know how good it can be in the end. I am ready to sit at the top of the hill of the rollercoaster, scared... full of doubt.. wondering what will come next. Thinking maybe they can turn this around... knowing how frightening it is on the fall... but keeping in mind that although, this new ride might disappoint, the adrenaline in the end will make it worth conquering my nerves. I am ready to really be me and to find someone who enjoys that about me. So if you fakin, I cannot be there with you on that tip. I cannot honor that. My mama taught me a long time ago that my looks wouldn't get me everywhere, and its time men learn that game might get you a couple hours of fun... but that game is not going to find you a wife and mother to your children... it will get you a wifey and a baby mama. So when you are talking about a future... then you can drop the game and put in work because we deserve each other and I will give it my all, because our real love is worth it.

Yo, yo, yo... 1, 2, 1, 2

It's killa kam on the mic
bout to reck some shit
i'm killin it in one round
I know you feelin it,
Relax, sit back and enjoy the flow
Like the moon, i'm outshining
all you wack mo fos

I might stay up in the A,
But I'm still so Chi
Ask me what I'm doing every break
Find me on 89th
If you need some more answers
I'll just let you know..
Yes.. I'm that bourgousie Whitney
Young chic from the Go.

This One Goes Out to ALL the Laaadies

Wow... I guess just as I was growing up.. so was Romeo--excuse me-- Young Rome.. LOL it seems crazy to still kinda wanna holla at Immature.. pardon me... IMx.. Wait.. noo Young Rome and Marques... But I'd do it! Holla at me in the Dec!

Summer Summer Summer Time!!

Oooooh I just came in the house from doing my favorite thing during the summer.. Riding in the car jamming to summer jams... Summer is the best time of year because the music is soooo fun and carefree.. And the best best part is that every summer they bring back OLD summer jams!! And I be jukin in my car. I love it, love it, love it! And some people might balk at this list for not including REAL music.. but anything I can juke to is good enough for me. In no particular order!

1. Sexy Back- Justin Timberlake
2. Beyonce and Jay Z- Deja Vu
3. Do It To It- Cherish (A A A A A Aaaaaaaa)
4. It's Going Down- Yung Joc
5. Snap your Fangers- Lil Jon
6. Crazy in Love- Beyonce ft Jay Z
7. Promiscuous Girl - Nelly Furtado and Timbaland
8. Cassie- Me and You
9. I'm Real- J.Lo and Ja Rule (SHUT UP we all have our guilty pleasures)
10. So What- Field Mob ft Ciara
11. One Two Step- Ciara
12 S.O.S. -Rihanna
13. Bossy- Kelis
14. Pon de Replay- Rihanna
15. Bow Wow and Omarion- Let Me Hold You
16. Its Over Now- 112
17. Get Your Freak On- Missy

I mean clearly i can go on... but i just love love love the summer, riding in the car... acting a fool on the streets of Chicago!

What that thang smell like?

So, BET Uncut is off the air.. I didn't know for myself, because I am so old that I rarely make it up until the wee hours of the morning when Uncut comes on, but one of my favorite friends told me the news... I was a tad excited, but I must admit.. a little sad. Excited because damn how many stripper videos can really be on TV at 2:00am.. I mean small town strippers aren't even cute.. they are mostly thick girls with cellulite who can pop... Most of my friends could do the same, were they devoid of all morals, formal education, skill sets, home training, standards, and pride. But we don't go there cause we keep 9 to 5s.. And I hate that these girls really think they are going to pull a Superhead by their performance in "Let Me See That Ass Drop" By Joker the Bailbondsman. I mean come on honey... you are a two bit stripper... HO SIT DOWN!!! And I also didnt like the thought of my 15 year old son being up late on night and stumbling onto that hot ass mess 20 years from now and then trying to feel on booties at school... So for those reasons.. i am more than glad that Uncut is off the air.

Now.. I am a little disappointed because Uncut has really provided me with some quality entertainment over the past 6 years... Okay, not QUALITY.. but hilarious.. The first time I saw "What That Thang Smell LIke" by Black Jesus... i was blown away.. I cracked up for days and made my friends stay up to watch it and laugh with me.. I burned it on a CD and would act out the ridiculous mess in the video.. I mean come on..Girls having the bouncer at a club smell their fingers for admission??? EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW But hey. it made it on TV.. so I'm happy to laugh at it... And other songs really made my top 10.. I mean "Choppa Style" debuted on Uncut sometime during my undergrad days and I bonded with some new friends while doing the dance at a meeting.. ahhhhh hilarious... So, where will I get my lowgrade hilarious black videos now? Where will those grown ass men who were able to scrape together a few thousand dollars from their mamas/baby mamas/SSI check be able to debut their low grade videos???

So Farewell Uncut... it was good to have known you... Okay maybe not good.. but it was fun while it lasted.. I hope "Tipdrill" finds its place in hell where it belongs.. Cause credit cards don't belong in certain places... I just hope that we can get Keyshia Cole's and DMX's show off the air and salvage BET as a network worth us watching...

PS White Girls was also a hilarious song too.... i feel bad for enjoying the degradation supported by Uncut... but goodness gracious there was a bunch of mess on that program...


Whatever man

Soooo this summer I had not enough to do and spent way too much time concerned with what people were telling me. In the spirit of introspection I took it to heart and now I realize aint nothing I can do about it. I tried to make some changes, it didn't work for me. So, I'm mean? you know you like it. So, I'm a jerk? you prolly get a kick out of it. I'm just me.. I'm sarcastic and dry. I dont really get excited about alot of things and when people want me to be excited it often comes off sounding fake (cause it is). Above all, my friends know that I am loyal and real. You will never have to guess where you stand with me and if we are homies then we are homies. People must think I'm funny cause they are always laughing at things that I say. Sometimes I can be ON TEN and act a fool... When I kick it, I kick it hard.. no reason to go out if you arent going to do it big. I don't intentionally hurt people's feelings, but it happens... just like it does to everyone. I'm forgiving because i know that there are times when I need to be forgiven. I can be an asshole and I am often stubborn. .If i dont wanna do it, i'm most likely not going to. But I am also very thoughtful and I make it my prerogative to make my friends' day. I just like them to know I have their back always. I dont think I expect more from people than I give. I am a woman of my word and sometimes I do falter. But I am always ready to apologize. I dream big and live big. I'm probably a little crazy and just trying to be the best me I can be.. so whatever man.. i'm doing what I can, making it the best way i know how.

Where did Sexy Go?

Justin Timberlake's new club banger is called Sexy Back.. In that song he proclaims to be bringing sexy back... Did sexy ever leave???? Diddy proclaims that he has been preserving his sexy with Proactiv.... but where HAS the rest of the sexy gone??

I don't know where it went, but I think it left around the time that BET Uncut hit the air and this base level rap hit the radio. Do not get me wrong cause I'm not gonna sit here and front like I don't listen to all the booty shakin music they play at the club.. But let us be really real.. That music aint sexy. The crunk explosion has gone from sexy to raunchy and I'm not trying to get down and dirty to any of that. Not "Run" By David Banner..."Wait" by Yin Yang Twins. "Ms. New Booty" by That dude who sings it... or any of that..

I remember being at high school dances and that was sexy... Listening to Moments in Love or Brian McKnight or Boys II Men.. Even H-Town, Jodeci and Silk kept it kinda sexy.. I'm not gonna trip Meeting in my Bedroom was the junk!!! And I cannot forget Ginuwine, King of the Panty Droppers! But that era is gone.. Now we have Mario, Ne-yo, JT Freeze.. I mean Trey Songs.. All these other dudes who are not keeping anything sexy.. romantic maybe.. but sexy not... The only person who makes me feel a little tingle is Usher.. and he aint been out in a minute..

So maybe JT is bringing sexy back because he is one sexy fine white boy... I mean dayum.. he could absolutely get it! But why does it take a white boy to bring sexy back.. as many fine sexy black men I know.. and Mr. JT is the one to bring it back.. I mean there have been some sexy songs out, but not by particularly sexy people. Marques Houston had Naked, Avant had.. i dont know. .whatever the names of his songs have been, R Kelly.. yeah well sleeping with children is not sexy so strike that.. but they have all contributed to the sexy.. But ugh.. who wants to have sex with them.. The only sexy male artist I can think of that is out now is LL Cool J and he is like 40..but so so sexy at 40 I must admit..

So I wanna say RIP to these artists who preserved Sexy in the past:

And I guess now thanks to JT... this type of sexy is bizzack... holla!!!!


So I've been thinking... We all got the same problems. We all look confident on the outside but have those moments alone when we question our lives and our decisions. We all have those insecurities that can spiral out of control if we don't keep them in check. We are all individuals just striving for happiness and peace in ourselves and some days we are better at it than others.

So my question is.. how come no one tells us that we are all feeling the same at the end of the day. I remember I was starting a new job a couple of years ago and I was so nervous that my stomach was in knots. I was definately excited too and pretty confident in my capabilities but I was soooo damn nervous I thought I was crazy... I told one of my friends and she said.. "Everyone is nervous when they first start a new job.. you are not the only one. We all feel like that." And it was like a lightbulb that went off.. I was thinking wow.. everyone feels that way? Everyone is nervous when it comes to this kinda stuff. .And I thought about all the times I put on a brave face and went out into the world with pseudo confidence when my stomach was churning and my hands shaking fearful of the unknown.. .

I wonder why no one told me this growing up. How come we don't allow kids to be sad and let that be okay? I remember as a kid feeling like something was wrong with me if I had any negative feelings and there being a focus on cheering up and getting it together. We all know the rhyme, "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me." Yeah right.. what hurts more than words.... but we are fooled into thinking that its not supposed to hurt and something is wrong with us if we let it get to us.. It's a scam. I mean I definately don't believe in sitting in sadness or despair, and I think that there are definately ways that people can cope with difficult times. But as an adult I know that difficult times will come, and I just have to focus on making it through them.

Flashback TLC

This was the first song I was geeked about.. I LOVE this song.. I did in 1992 and I do now.. I must admit at one point I definately had bandaids on my clothes when I went to school... SHUT UP! It was hot then!!

Hating on Copernicus

In the 16th century, Copernicus dropped knowledge. He said that the Earth was not the center of the Universe. He told em that it was the Sun.. Everything, all the other planets revolve around the sun. Needless to say, most folks weren't hearing it. Now the 16th century haters, were like, "Copernicus, you is crazy. You know Aristotle and Ptolemy already mapped out the Solar System and OBVIOUSLY the Earth is at the center! What are you talking about, homie?" (YES that is a direct quote) and the Catholic Church dissed him like he was talking ying yang.

Well, I know why they hated on Copernicus, cause I do all the time. I mean, those who know me understand that I am a tiny bit spoiled and I kinda like things like I like things and I want them when I want them and when that doesnt go down.. I am not happy. Some have kinda hinted that I believe that the world revolves around me. Well, yes.. cause most of the time my world does revolve around me. I mean, I am blessed. Most of the things I want I get through luck, generosity, hard work or a mixture of the three. I am blessed with some absolutely wonderful friends who indulge me in alot of my tomfoolery and ridiculosity. When I wanna go out I call someone and they are down...sometimes when I don't want to go out people call me cause they want me to go with them.. which is a blessing as well. All in all my life is pretty dope... which kinda leads to me kinda feeling like if i'm sitting on top of the world, then everything must be revolving around me because how else could this all fall into such perfect place? I mean it must be nature right..

NO cause then situations occur when I get disappointed. When a relationship I was hella excited about turns sour and I don't understand why or when something I really wanna do doesnt work out, like lets say I get invited somewhere and when I show up the person who invited me is gone...You know things like that happen and it pisses me off.. and makes me sad.

It's like Copernicus coming and sitting down next to me to break the news... "No matter how life may seem at times, I'm sorry. Not even your life revolves around you. It's just life and wish all you might, but you are just one element, one piece. So there will be situations beyond your control. Cause it doesnt work out with you as the center." And even though I know it's the truth and I do understand that... I get mad, just like the Catholic Church...because it is a harsh reality to face the idea that something that seems so natural.. isnt the truth.

I'm hating on Copernicus in a very personal 2K6 style. It doesn't make sense that disappointment should be apart of life. That situations should occur that require me to understand that I dont have control over everything that happens or the reactions of other people because I am not the Sun.. I dont provide life.. I am just living.

So Copernicus.. you might have been right then, you might be right now.. but damn.. .its a tough pill to swallow... cause I'm just trying to be sitting on top of the world, and I dont understand why i can't!

And yes this analogy might be a little far fetched but hey..

July 4th.. Independence Day.

Stars and Stripes Forever?
Yeah right.

I'm a patriot on occasion. you know.. like when its the Olympics or ummm okay just at the Olympics or Penn Relays.. I will shout USA with the best of them.. but all in all... I must say I don't get too much into flag waving... Fourth of July... Schmourth of July... You know while America's Forefathers were in Philadelphia putting their John Hancock's (hahaha) on the Declaration of Independence... my forefathers were pickin some cotton and birthin some babies in Georgia and Mississippi.. so I can't get too gung ho.. singing the National Anthem and stuff.. So i'm just going to wear red, black and green.. Sing Lift Every Voice and Sing.. and eat some good ole BBQ today and remember what Frederick Douglass said years ago.. in "What to the Slave is the Fourth of July": Here is the link:
If you are down for enlightenment.

You are NOT the Father!

What's going on in the world today when every case on Maury Povich ends with the guy not being the father of the child? I mean, call me a goody goody, a prude, a whatever.. but I mean as far as I know when you go to the doctor they give you a window of when the baby was conceived.. and how much sex must you have to not know who the father of your child is? I mean okay maybe it can be between two men... you can have your man and your piece on the side... I can see that.. but 10 guys? Ten men you had sex with in that small window of conception and they are all NOT the father? C'MON!!! And with no protection.. and we wonder why AIDS is hitting us the hardest...

I am also so sick of the men on Maury calling these girls every name in the book... I mean if she is all of that than you should have exercised a little dick discretion and put it back in your pants! I mean the urge is real.. we all wanna have sex.. we would all love to have hedonistic orgies without emotion and full of erotic enjoyment... I mean, maybe not.. but something about that sounds appealing.. but at the end of the day.. there are consequences that we want to avoid and so we, as thinking humans, give it a second thought and make a different decision. We make the decision to not sleep with every man who is willing, or every guy we meet who is attractive. I mean I make that decision... because if attraction was all we needed, I would have had sex with a good 8% of the people I know (yeah i'm that picky)... But I don't.. and neither do most of the people I know.... so I just sit around and talk about how horny I am... flirt shamelessly with cuties.. and grind on the dancefloor.. then go home and hope to fall in love... so then i can get all my action guilt/remorse/regret free.. . because when it comes to meaningless sexual encounters.. what percentage is really worth it??

I know shit happens. Situations arise and I am not downing anyone who has a unplanned pregnancy.. I mean me and my siblings were all surprises... but just be real about it.... be adult about things you do.. and also... just save up the money for the paternity test yourself so you dont have to be yelling and screaming.. running from the stage throwing yourself on the couch in the back and telling Murray how embarrassed you are and although you were 2000 per cent sure he was the father...NOW you have an idea of who else it could be.

sigh... but i must admit... Murray does make some DAMN GOOD TV!!

South Suburbs- Revisited

So... I went out to the south suburbs again... I knew I shouldnt have.. I almost didn't because as i've already described, the south suburbs is a special piece of Chicagoland... that is fun to shop in... cool to live in some places.. but not appropriate to party... unless its a house party... and then only in particular south suburbs... Either way...

We pulled up to club What's Up? LOL yeah.. i know... and after some positive self talk went in...
No one was there yet.. ,just some high school folks but it was early. Cool cool.. You know me.. I pregame in the car... soo I'm nice.. I buy my friend a drink for suffering through this against her will.. and we take in the ambiance..

Then we see someone we knew and he tells me to introduce myself to his friend... Now, I wave across the table and he says something.. and I cant hear because music is playing... sooo I ask again.. and again and finally I hear him say... "you aint gotta act like that.. i didn't sleep with you last night" and I was like what? I don't even know what that means... of course we didnt sleep together.. what are you talking about... and if i he is accustomed to girls being lukewarm the night after they sleep together then he should just not do it.. or go to a class or something because clearly his performance is not up to par. He also tells me.. everybody says that.. and I'm like.. uuuuuh not anyone I've ever met.. But I imagine this is the purpose of ethnography, to learn about other cultures.

All in all the night was great. I had a great time... I saw alot of people I havent seen in a while... high school friends.. so much fun... a blizzast!! But it was interesting very itneresting I must say... But variety is the spice of life.. but let me say it again... No more south suburbs.