Withdrawal

I remember when I was 6 or 7 we went to Great America with our babysitter. We had the time of our lives. We had coolers full of food and drinks and I can still remember how large and busy everything seemed. How exciting and irresistable it all was. I couldn't imagine anything better than that trip.

We drove home exhausted after nightfall and from what I've seen after a day like that kids usually fall asleep when their heads hit the pillow. But not me. I laid in my bed staring at the top bunk devastated. I knew I should be remembering the funnest day ever but instead my heart was heavy. There was a deep pit in my stomach and tears pooled in my eyes. I laid there tossing and turning for what seemed like forever, sobbing with the pain of a child who hasn't learn that its polite to hold in her tears.

I cried because I never thought I'd have that much fun again. That night I experienced my first withdrawal. The endorphins of a great day settling as I sobered back into my regular life.

This week I've been in withdrawal again, grasping at straws, searching for stimulation to stop me from falling so hard. This Christmas I remembered the feeling of real joy that can't be felt through a text message or a gchat. The feeling of having the ones you love right there beside you to talk about everything... or nothing at all.

Productivity Check

Okay. I have several things to do today. I am going to put them in the blog. in hopes that it will motivate me to get them done. Some things may be cryptic.. but who cares. you get the point

1. Get 7up cake recipe from aunt
2. purchase ingredients and sifter
3. call UHC
4. reservations
5. work out (please help me with this one)
6. evite
7. mail letters

Now off to get my car serviced :-)) Productivity Rules!!

B. Enchanted!!!

Omg. Soo I spent all day logging into freaking G Chat every 5 minutes thinking where the hell is B!! She's my vacation buddy.. we get to run our mouths on G-chat.. Im bored. why isnt she there... and then BOOM.. duhh. .she's on vacation. ARGH

she's always on friggin vacation. (off to sip more haterade)

Tassimo

TASSIMO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I love you so much. Your cappuccino made me almost tear up because it was available in my own home... This is my kitchen!!! Full of beautiful coffee drinks. I decided to make them all at one time..
kidding. but look at the possibilities. I LOVE my Tassimo.. I had a delicious Maxwell House Cappuccino yesterday with a nice frothy milk layer mmmmm and today I am having starbucks.. i dont think I enjoy this blend very much.. but i love it. anyway. in one moment. 1 cup at a time. Enjoying it all.. mmmmm what a reason to wake up in the morning.

Yay!!

As we struggle with shopping lists and invitations, compounded by December's bad weather, it is good to be reminded that there are people in our lives who are worth this aggravation, and people to whom we are worth the same.
-- Donald E. Westlake

This quote sums up my Christmas experience. The weather in Chicago was wet and cold. I had shopping to do, conflicting engagements.. tons of stuff that was annoying and aggravating to say the least. BUT!!!

My Christmas was one of the best I can ever remember. I got to spend time with my cousins. I got to spend time with my sisters. I got to spend time with my brother. I got to watch Broham and Snuggnut talk nerd. I got to see some great friends.... and really remember what its like to feel a room (rooms) full of love.

Living so far away it can seem like home is a place that I am happy to be away from... but i'm not. I really really enjoyed spending time with my cousin out at the club. (there was a fight that ended the night, but nothing like home) I just had a good time enjoying the holiday and some really good drinks and some really good laughs. I really had a good time with my friends who came over for Kwanzaa.. what seemed like it was going to be a bust due to the snow, really turned into such a wonderful time. They got up and acted silly during charades... we guessed and laughed and talked and hugged... and it really made me realize what the holidays are all about.. good people and good friends...

I think that's why Christmas is so close to New Years... Christmas teaches you whats important in life, so you can go into the New Year focusing on the right things! :-)

Now here are some quotes to take me into 2010...

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things" ~John Burroughs

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day" ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year, but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas." ~Anonymous

101 in 1001 Update #2

Sooooooo... 101 in 1001 has been going well.

#7. I wrote one letter and got it sent off. I am thinking about getting several real life pen pals.. like people i already know.. and writing to them instead of writing to random folks.. cause that hasn't been going so well... But I got one letter off..

#34. I am writing 3 pieces right now and haven't been able to really call them finished because i'm not happy with them.. but it's okay. it's in progress

#36. Volunteered at the Toy Party, which is the killer winter gay event of the year.. I registered VIP guests and helped For All Kids as they collected THOUSANDS of toys.. It was great fun. Successfully engaged in some small talk and did it all by myself! Plus I got a free t-shirt.. soooo 3 hrs down

AND when I go home, i'm going to watch a classic film with my mom and try to gather pictures for her scrapbook. It should be lots of fun.. I love the holidays!!

Ooooh my relaxed hair is growing out nicely.. I have TONS of new growth.. and I am simply draping.. Long hair dont care!!! :-)))

Hellooooooooooooooo Chicago in 7 hours.

For you as we go towards a new year

My blog readers are the most introspective folks ever. striving for excellence and forever seeking self improvement. i love them. I found this.. a PDF by Seth Godin about What Really Matters. The link below gives the background on it and a link to download. It's extensive but really cool...

http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2009/12/what-matters-now-get-the-free-ebook.html

Check it out. let me know what you think.

YES!!! Vacation is here. Let me give you some Measurable Goals. cause a nerd like me can't relax on vacation..

1. clean out drawers and reorganize them. This is my vacation ritual. done ever christmas, spring and summer break religiously.

2. begin working out before the 1st.. its so trite if you do it as a resolution

3. READ!!

4. Smile

5. Visit somewhere new in Atlant a

6. Rest

7. write write write

8. Get my car fixed up :-)