How did I almost forget about this...

Today, I'm going to get my hair done and because I've been driving my tail all around the city this weekend, i'm sittin on E... So I go to my local QuikTrip and get my gas.. I have on some cute denim bermuda shorts and a tank top, hair pulled back in a pony tail cause.. it's about to be washed in 20 mins...

So OMG is playing on the radio and I put the pump back up and this old guy, maybe 55 or 60, reminiscent of the man you might see at the security desk in your local skyscraper says...

"Hey gorgeous..."
"Hi... have a great day!"
"Where is your husband?"
"You not married... Well... I know you got a man..."
"LOL Not exactly..."
"Wait honey, you got to let me give you my number.. go'on head and put my number in your phone.."
"I can't even do that sir," smiling wide.
"How old are you darlin?"
"ooh shit you can put my number in there..."
"I can't. I'm sorry," shaking my head slightly, "I don't date men."
"Oh! So you date women?"

*** SIDEBAR**** WHy do niggas ask me this ish EVERY time I say I dont date men? WTF else do you think I date? Goats, giraffes, sloths? What other option is there??? OMG ***

Anyway... back to our story..

"Yes, I date women."

"Ooooh well that's cause you aint never had a man who can hit that spot right..."

"Well actually I have and honestly... I don't really need that spot hit... I'm kinda straight on that"

"oooh nah baby... I'm not talking about that spot... I'm talking about social intercourse.. I can get all up in your mind girl.. get in there with conversation and hit that spot so deep that you won't want me to come out."

"Ummmm that sounds appealing, but you know there is just something about a woman that I kinda need in my life..."

"Nah you don't cause you just need the right man to take care of you right.. I'll find out your wants, needs, and desire and with that mental penetration I'll have you wide open girl... When I just say that right thing and hit that spot with that social intercourse you wont have nothing else to even think about.. you wont ever let me leave... See a lot of women don't know about that how I can penetrate your mind and just get you going with the words I say.. you dont even have to take no clothes off and I'll have you excited and ready... "

"Well, that is intriguing and excellent game... but there's something I like about breasts..."

"Oooh you like titties huh, well you can have those too. .you can still look at those"

***SIDENOTE**** as I write this I wonder.. why the hell I held this long a convo with this mo'fo

"Well no, see I dont wanna just look.. I want them in the bed with me when I wake up and when I go to sleep... I just love the feminine energy"

"oooH shit baby.. Feminine energy.. I can give that to you... Energy is transferrable, so I'll just take it from you and penetrate your mind with it... you already know..."

"LMAO!!!!!! (did he just give me a physics lesson) Sir.. that's not gonna happen.. I'm sorry LOL"

"Oh come on.. just put my number in your phone.. im at least worth a conversation!!!"

"Can't even do it"

"Come on girl!"

I get into my car... close the door... End Scene..


b.goody said...

Hilarious. I was thinking, "why is she still talking to him?"

Spiderlgs said...

LOL It was so hilarious.. I mean HILARIOUS!!!

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