From the Archives..

This is before I had a blog.. but its funny.. and I figured i'd take it out of e-mail anonymity and place it for the world to see.. hahahahahahah enjoy..

From Jan 13, 2006 :

Okay... so i clearly need to be back in school ASAP because i have nothing to do but surf the internet... but in the process.. i find the most disturbing things.. Most of them involve Star Jones... so I will compile all of my Star findings for you all as a courtesy to help you through work, job..whatever it is you are doing that is productive for society.. with a little bit of laughter :-D

As we all know, Ms. Jones released a book earlier this month.. last week maybe.. well here are excerpts.. if you have read them before.. dont be shy.. read them again they will be just as funny....

"At a party on Nov. 13, 2003, a man took my arm and said, "You're not just going to pass me by." This man with skin the color of cooked butter, the most beautiful lips and the deepest brown eyes on the planet continued, "I saw you once at a party five years ago and was too hesitant to approach you, but I'm braver this time." I was charmed out of my wits. I looked into those chocolate eyes, and I literally heard a bell ring – just like my mother said it would.

"On date one, Al presented me with a CD of songs with the word "star" in them. More important was date two. We'd gone to church and come back to my apartment for a home-cooked meal. Al took my hands and said the words I'll never forget: "I'm not looking for temporary." Whooooaaa. "Well, I'm also not interested in sport dating," I answered. From that moment on, we started thinking of ourselves as two parts of a penny. We'd talk on the phone till 4 in the morning. I left singing messages on his voice mail. He covered the floor of my living room with roses. I was madly in love. The first time he held me in his arms sexually, it was almost frightening because we knew our erotic interest in each other could take over every other thing. So we had an intoxicatingly sexual connection the first two months of our relationship. And we talked seriously about marriage. Because we knew this was all moving too quickly, we wanted to bring a spiritual adviser into the relationship. It wasn't an easy decision. We both knew the first thing he'd say was, "To test this relationship, you must be celibate until marriage.

They consulted a pastor, who said just that.

"He told us that this period of abstinence would, in many ways, insure our ability to be faithful after marriage. The first two months we were celibate, it was kind of whimsical – like, "Oooh – look, we're doin' it." I mean, Al is a beautiful man. He's got the legs of a stallion. He'd be a perfect Ralph Lauren model.

"We both probably had the hardest time during the next two months. The last two months we grew even closer than I'd ever dreamed possible."

On Nov. 13, 2004, they wed. Star's goal had been to weigh less than her groom that day – and she did.

"Today we celebrate our love every waking moment. When I'm all dressed up, Al will say to me in the sexiest voice, "Let 'em have it, Ms. Jones."

"Baby, you are the Man," I answer.

"Thank you, baby," he says.

And I'll say, "Babe, did you make any money today?"

And he'll say, "Yeah, I think I might have made a little bit of money."

And I say, "Did you go buy your wife something? Because your wife likes pretty things."

And he'll say, "I know my wife likes pretty things. Didn't I give you that big old diamond ring?"

And I'll say, "Ooh, that was last year."

So we toast each other with humor and appreciation and respect.

Al and I were really tested during our engagement period. One day we would read in the press that Al was out gallivanting with a bunch of women. The next day, we'd read a story questioning his sexuality. I remember my husband saying to me, "Baby, what am I today?" And me answering, "Just who you were yesterday, baby." The attacks on the nature of our relationships never bothered me because I knew this man. Al would give me strength, and I'd give him strength, and we prayed every morning and every evening. And we still do. People ask me how Al felt when I lost weight. One day, I asked [him]. He thought for a bit, and then he said, "It takes some getting used to, your thinner body beside me, because it's not the same body I fell in love with."

How sweet is that?

Star Jones is gross and absolutely delusional!!!!!! here is my favorite excerpt....

"About a week later, in bed, I said to him, 'Honey, you have on your T-shirt - are you cold?' And he, whom most people consider to have one of the most gorgeous bodies on the planet - those shoulders - answered me by saying, 'I just don't look as good naked as you do."

yeah right not in this universe.. I guess those are the things you have to do when you dont wanna press your homosexual body against Star Jones.. make up blatant lies to prevent any sleeping together... Even suggest abstinence till marriage... "Yes, Star we should be celibate to test our relationship and grow closer (and so that I don't have to sleep with you because I'm not really into the vadge)." Very Brokeback if you ask me.. And I would like to share a picture to illustrate the point!

Goodness gracious.. all that animal erotic interest.. and someone doesnt look interested.. not to mention who the hell gives public lap dances at 40+??????????? She is the worst..
Have a great day!

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