It's the Chicago in me


People tell me all the time that I am rude/blunt/cold. They describe instances to illustrate this point.. but even with "evidence" I still dont see it.

For example:

Friend: Can you do me a favor?
Me: Depends on what it is.
Friend: Damn... it's like that.
Me: What?
Friend: That was cold.

What?? I mean, I am not going to say yes and they you want me to drive to Iowa to pick up your boo from jail.. or babysit your neice with you.. or anything that I don't feel like doing. Whats rude about making it clear that my consent is dependant on the request?


Example 2:
(on the phone)

Me: Alright I have to go.
Friend: Okay, I'm gonna call you later tonight.
Me: Okay
Friend: Are you going to pick up the phone?
Me: Maybe.
Friend: Why do you have to be so rude?
Me: What?? I cannot guarantee i will pick up the phone... it's not rude for me to tell you that./
Friend: well most people would just say yes.
Me: Ahhhh, and you must remember.. I am not most people.

Okay maybe that last sentence I can leave out.... but the first part makes perfect sense.. why consent to something that you can't guarantee.. I am a woman of my word.. soI cant say something I'm not going to do.. why should i... And how is it RUDE for me to say so?

I was struggling with this.. thinking hey.. maybe I am rude. Maybe I am too cold. I was pretty much sure that i was right and my friends are wrong.. Because I've gone my whole life with at least one or two homies.. if I were a jerk wouldnt they say peace out? I just say what I mean and mean what I say.

I started to think that maybe it was a chicago thing since I've been back and have been getting "courted." Its so different in chicago. Men in Chicago just say it.."I wanna take you out. what are you doing friday?" "Or I want you to be my wife" or "So when are you gonna let me hit?" I mean clearly the last one is a joke.. But they just say what they want.. I was relaying this to a friend of mine who is from Chicago but has recently relocated.. and maybe in chicago we just say what we want... and so we are used to it and to us it's not rude. But the rest of the world may think so. And they may get mad when we say answers they don't want. But I am not cold. I smile all the time and talk to people. I am not rude. I say please and thank you and excuse me when necessary. I hold doors for people and help old ladies across the street.. (i mean I would if I saw an old lady who needed help.. theoretically) and I am not mean!! I just don't want you to think that i am gonna do somethign I might not do.... or that I like things I don't... and i don't think it's rude just because people don't get answers they want to hear!

Or maybe I'm just an asshole from way back.. trying to make excuses about being honest when I am a plain jerk! You tell me.

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